(remember, october is SARCASTIC month)
my parents were supposed to go out of town this weekend. i found that a bit odd in itself, seeing as how they planned on going out of town TOGETHER and my mom had taken to going either by herself or with my sister. it isn't anything extravagant mind you, it's usually a trip to either wv or ga to visit her sisters where she can extoll on her virtues and talk about what a terrific mom and grandmother she is. anywhoo--they didn't go this weekend.
you know why? um, because my nephew (not gameboy) has pneumonia so my mom had to keep my neice for the weekend. huh? first of all, my aunt, who works in the dr's office my sister uses says he doesn't have pneumonia, he's got a little crud and is on antibiotics. second, even if he did have pneumnoia, why would my mom need to keep my neice for the weekend? my nephew is not contagious. and there are now two adults in the household since my sister got married. hmmm. thankfully my kids don't get sick a lot (really, thankful for that) but if one IS sick i don't ship the other one off somewhere. wtf?
the story coming from my mom will no doubt be how she sacrificed her weekend away to stay and take care of my niece and then how on top of that they had to help with my grandma this weekend.
the hubs gave up his sleeping in morning today to help my uncle take the screen door from my grandma's house and install it on her new garage apartment. i'm sure my parents are present, though not doing anything to help, and i'm sure that will be part of the excuse as to why they didn't go out of town as well.
i don't get it. i really don't. i've been doing a lot of thinking lately about my parents and my feelings/attitudes toward them. it started w/ the kiss the girl gave me at the bus stop that morning. recognizing the power she held over me and assuming that power will only grow as she gets older, i wondered how i might have the power to make my relationship w/ my parents better.
also, i have so many friends who are dealing with aging parents. they are either taking care of them in their own homes, making the tough decisions to put them in a nursing home or dealing w/ a parent that doesn't want to do either but obviously needs round the clock care. and, it isn't necessarily done once they've died. one friend, who was excluded altogether from a parent's will, was contacted about being sued for the balance due on a house that was left to her sister for god's sake. i can sympathize with them because they are my friends but in the back of my mind i always think---not going to be me because i'm not taking responsibility for my folks, my sister (yeah right) can do that.
and then i think of maybe how wrong i am toward my parents. i have held them, and my sister, at arms length for years. admittedly it is a defense mechanism because i really can't take any more shit from them. i sometimes think i'm being too hard on my parents because some of the ill i feel toward them stems from my childhood. and lord knows my greatest fear in life is that i will have the negative impact on my kids that they had on me. i sometimes try to make excuses for them thinking, you know, they're only human, they did the best they could. they were young (they got married at 19 and had me at 20). but that can't excuse everything. but, can i really judge them?
however, it's not like after my parents "grew up" they started making the best decisions or changed their points of view and became stellar parents and grandparents. their selfishness (for that's where SO much of their problems stem from) continues to this day.