the words haven't been coming that easily. i'm caught up in the day to day life of being home with the kids. still no job. i look. i search. i hunt. seems like SOMETHING should turn up. but it hasn't. i worry. but at the same time i enjoy being here w/ the kids.
i have this feeling like i should be doing more. something bigger and not necessarily a job. of course i need a job. i'm talking in the big scheme of life thing.
when i first got laid off i thought my purpose was to be a full time mom. to mold my kids. to enjoy them. and, for the most part i have. though last week sort of sucked monkey balls because i was on the rag, we were tied to the house waiting for the fridge repair guy (and it still is not fixed--do you know how hard it is to not have a fully working fridge?) and the kids were getting on each other's nerves (and mine). the weekend came though and seemed to make things better. the hubs was off friday; we had a good july 4th (although it was the first time in a few years that it's just been the 4 of us celebrating) and sunday was nice too.
back to the thought--i feel like in life there is something more that i'm supposed to be doing. a bigger purpose. helping people? i don't know. doing SOMETHING.
maybe my purpose is to get the boy to quit picking his nose. seriously--he's NINE for god's sake. when do they stop that? how many times a day do i say, boy, quit picking your nose!