smp

smp=snot, mucus and phlegm. i thought if i put that in the title you might not read : ) (i just realized that's pms backwards. how apropos).

where in the HELL do snot, mucus and phlegm COME from? we don't ingest it, yet, our bodies seem to have a never-ending supply of it.

as if this week didn't start out bad enough, i had been sneezing. here and there. i sneeze weirdly. not once, but like 3-4 times in a row and high pitched, childlike sounding sneezes.

earlier this week i said, oh, yeah, my allergies are acting up. i was taking otc anything and everything. tuesday night i felt like shite but had to work wednesday because of stupid deadlines. finished that up, left early to go to the doc so she could tell me yes virginia (not my real name) you do have a sinus infection. she gave me a scrip for an antibiotic.

i tried to fill it at tarjay but had my medical card not my prescription card w/ me so i gave up and went home to die.

yesterday i stayed home from work. i got the kids off to school and planned to go back to tarjay for the scrip when the pharmacy opened at 9. i slept until 11ish and then went to get it. srsly, not being able to breathe, having a pounding headache, chapped lips (cos i'm breathing only out of my mouth), the itching ears and coughing oh, and that lovely nose running that gives you NO warning whatsoever, liquid just starts coming out of your nose (usually when you are furthest away from a kleenex) and you can't stop it has made me quite the bitchy mcbitch these last two days. poor hubs.

on top of the sinus infection and friends being laid off this week i've been having weird dreams. first i've been dreaming about my fave gma (who died the year the boy was born, so that's 9 yrs ago). nothing specific about those dreams, just she's in them. the hubs says it's because my thoughts of her are always happy, safe, comforting, and i'm subconsciously looking for that right now. (he's pretty awesome huh?) then the other dreams are about work and how i get lost in the hallways or on trips or someone is sitting in my chair, etc. doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure those out.

i do not know what on fucking earth possessed me to enter the profession i did. for someone who does not respond well to authority and who hates being under pressure and having deadlines, publishing was so not the field for me. maybe i'm going through a mid-life crisis brought on by stress. i know i should be happy to even have a job, and part of me really, really is, but nobody should have to spend the majority of their week in an environment they can't stand. plus, now it's like i don't really have a voice and i feel shitty about that. i mean before i would speak up when i thought things weren't going right or i would stick up for the integrity of my publication, but now it's like keep your head down and just do whatever you're told. integrity has fled. i hate that.

*****randomness. in my sinus stupor yesterday i watched annie hall for the first time ever. i liked it (though i did doze off one time when she was singing). i don't think i've seen many woody allen films as an adult, but i really liked this one because he flits in and out of thoughts and ideas, much like my brain works. plus, i love diane keeton. i also watched part of yours, mine and ours (w/ lucille ball and henry fonda) and omg, i can't imagine having that many (18-19?) kids. but, i liked it as well. i also caught part of imitation of life (? i think that was the title) w/ lana turner. i feel like i'd seen that before. lana was simply gorgeous. wow. it was amc day apparently. i'm not home during the week day much alone--there really is a lot of crap on daytime tv huh?