early morning is a hateful, malicious bitch and i'd like to stab her repeatedly and then drown her and have a vampire suck the life out of her.
she knows she has the upper hand, she knows i can't avoid her and she knows how much i hate her and she enjoys tormenting me.
today is the first day back to school for the kids and work for the grown ups.
the fucking alarm clock is in cahoots with early morning. he's a pussy-whipped asshole, begging me to push his buttons and then he just glares at me, showing me the time and laughing as he knows i have to get out of bed.
and the bed? yes, she's a bad friend. she's comfy and the flannel sheets are toasty. she's like that friend you have that tries to convince you playing hookie is ok, you won't get caught, or eating that extra dessert is fine, you'll work it off. she keeps giving you all sorts of toasty, comfy reasons to stay with her, snuggling deeper into her warmth.
i struggled to get out of her, and managed to do so, only to be assaulted by that bitch early morning. the automatic responses were working, i was breathing, walking, my eyes were open, but really, everything else was still snuggled in the bed. it was foggy.
the girl was up and ready. wtf? she woke up at 5 a.m. she was ready for school. i think it had something to do with the abercrombie & fitch shirt the SIL and bro got her for christmas combined with the black tips we let her get put in her hair. she was ready to be seen.
she even made me coffee. bless.her.heart. and, while coffee is normally one of my bff's, even she couldn't touch the fog that was lingering in my brain. i drank down her warm caffeinated goodness but it did not make it to the brain cells that were still asleep.
i listened and nodded appropriately while the girl chattered away. then the hubs got up and the girl got on the bus and i smacked that bitch early morning upside her fat stupid head and crawled back into bed. i sneered at that pussy-whipped alarm clock, knowing that i could snuggle and snooze for at least another 10 minutes. and when faced w/ early morning? another 10 minutes is like a freakin' lifetime to me.
i crawled back into those flannel sheets. the hubs got the boy up and then got in the shower. i dozed. when that damn alarm went off again i sucker punched him and snoozed a bit more. then i got up, got another cup of coffee and got in the shower. did you know you can sort of take a nice hot shower washing and cleaning everything w/ your eyes closed? yes, i did that.
i finished getting ready, spoke little to anyone, took the boy to school and then, w/ gift card in hand, i headed to starbucks. not for my normal carmel macchiato or pumpkin spice latte or that other thing i get and can't remember, but the strongest, boldest, biggest cup of coffee i could find. thinking of course that she would totally wake me up and have me ready to face the day.
the bitch is laying down on the job because as yet i am still foggy and could really crawl back into bed. except i'm at work. fuck.
happy damn monday.