Monday, January 5, 2009

early morning is a bitch

early morning is a hateful, malicious bitch and i'd like to stab her repeatedly and then drown her and have a vampire suck the life out of her.

she knows she has the upper hand, she knows i can't avoid her and she knows how much i hate her and she enjoys tormenting me.

today is the first day back to school for the kids and work for the grown ups.

the fucking alarm clock is in cahoots with early morning. he's a pussy-whipped asshole, begging me to push his buttons and then he just glares at me, showing me the time and laughing as he knows i have to get out of bed.

and the bed? yes, she's a bad friend. she's comfy and the flannel sheets are toasty. she's like that friend you have that tries to convince you playing hookie is ok, you won't get caught, or eating that extra dessert is fine, you'll work it off. she keeps giving you all sorts of toasty, comfy reasons to stay with her, snuggling deeper into her warmth.

i struggled to get out of her, and managed to do so, only to be assaulted by that bitch early morning. the automatic responses were working, i was breathing, walking, my eyes were open, but really, everything else was still snuggled in the bed. it was foggy.

the girl was up and ready. wtf? she woke up at 5 a.m. she was ready for school. i think it had something to do with the abercrombie & fitch shirt the SIL and bro got her for christmas combined with the black tips we let her get put in her hair. she was ready to be seen.

she even made me coffee. bless.her.heart. and, while coffee is normally one of my bff's, even she couldn't touch the fog that was lingering in my brain. i drank down her warm caffeinated goodness but it did not make it to the brain cells that were still asleep.

i listened and nodded appropriately while the girl chattered away. then the hubs got up and the girl got on the bus and i smacked that bitch early morning upside her fat stupid head and crawled back into bed. i sneered at that pussy-whipped alarm clock, knowing that i could snuggle and snooze for at least another 10 minutes. and when faced w/ early morning? another 10 minutes is like a freakin' lifetime to me.

i crawled back into those flannel sheets. the hubs got the boy up and then got in the shower. i dozed. when that damn alarm went off again i sucker punched him and snoozed a bit more. then i got up, got another cup of coffee and got in the shower. did you know you can sort of take a nice hot shower washing and cleaning everything w/ your eyes closed? yes, i did that.

i finished getting ready, spoke little to anyone, took the boy to school and then, w/ gift card in hand, i headed to starbucks. not for my normal carmel macchiato or pumpkin spice latte or that other thing i get and can't remember, but the strongest, boldest, biggest cup of coffee i could find. thinking of course that she would totally wake me up and have me ready to face the day.

the bitch is laying down on the job because as yet i am still foggy and could really crawl back into bed. except i'm at work. fuck.

happy damn monday.

13 comments:

Tracy said...

at work. commiserating.

broad minded said...

at least you didn't dream that ben franklin was a pedophile and that you were trapped at fox news - and those weren't even the dreaming that woke me up shouting. i can't remember that one now. i was quite grateful when the alarm went off at 5.30 just so that nonsense would be over.

Hotch Potchery said...

I won't tell you that I decided I should just work a half day since the kid doesn't go back to school until tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain, o sister night owl! I hate that bitch, too. My friends ditched me on going to the gym, so I went back to bed. :)

Sweet T

creative kerfuffle said...

tracy--we should have work schedules like school schedules. working sucks.

broad--i'm afraid of your dreams, but even so, i'd NEVER be grateful for an alarm going off at 5:30am.

hotch--you are a mean spiteful bitch--and i say that w/ love : )

sweet t---soo, does that mean you didn't have a school night last night? ; ) what, pray tell, kept YOU up? : ) he he and gym and am should not be said in the same sentence.

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

I hate Mondays. Especially in the ER. But the ER gods were nice today as I only had 1 patient all morning and he was nice. But waking up early and getting everyone ready before I left for work was not fun. at. all. I don't drink coffee, but can't coke put more caffeine into coke zero?

goodfather said...

Hi! I've seen you around the 'sphere for a while now, but just make it to your blog.

Your post happened to me today. Almost exactly. ;)

Astarte said...

Ugh, I know. And, it's so damn cloudy and dark!!! The least Mother Nature could do is let the freakin' sun come out! That vacation was just long enough to let me get really, really used to being up late and sleeping in, and the kids too. Josie gets up OK, but Patrick is like I used to be as a kid. Ugh.

creative kerfuffle said...

bea--i don't do coke but what about mt. dew? isn't that like the most caffeinated? : ) actually, have many friends that are diet coke fiends too. also--is it true that ERs go crazy when there is a full moon?

goodfather--yeah, i'm glad you stopped by. yes, i've seen you at shere's and heinous' as well. it is now tuesday and a much, much more awake day.

astarte--yes, the weather sucks. here in NC it's been drizzling or raining or misty and overcast for days! yuck. lots of rain today and last night. josie sounds like the girl and patrick like the boy in the getting up dept. i was never (and still am not) a good morning person.

broad minded said...

yeah i wouldn't wish my dreams on any one. i still remember the one i had in my 20s where my grandfather kissed me, and not in a grandfatherly way (and no i was never molested or anything like that.)

creative kerfuffle said...

broad---EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. actually, i think you've told me that before : )

justsomethoughts... said...

two observations
1. i take it youre not fond of mornings ?
2. its interesting what gender you ascribe to the various objects...

just sayin'

word verf is "wingsmsh"
which seems like a choice of what to do with that damned alarm clock.

creative kerfuffle said...

just--well, i was trying NOT to be obvious, but yes, i hate that bitch early morning. and i didn't even plan the genders like that but i think they're fitting.