Thursday, May 1, 2008

another sign of my craziness

i have always known i'm a jealous person. i can't help it, really, i've tried. in reality my jealously is typically unfounded and totally stupid and has no merit whatsoever (can we say redundant phrase?)

after almost 16 years of marriage i have mostly gotten over any jealousy i've had over the hubs' previous relationships. i am secure enough in our relationship and our commitment to each other to no longer get (that) jealous when he gets hit on by customers or people he comes in contact with through work. i'm a possessive person.

these days my jealousy simmers over different things. again, i will say that i realize i am totally crazy for feeling this way, but i still do.

i have twinges of jealousy that my brother's kids have another aunt (not my sister cos she's pretty much a nonentity in our lives). in my perverted mind i view my SIL's sister as competition.

i also have twinges of jealousy over my friends. (this just means i love y'all, you know that right??) i am jealous that sweet t and broad now work together, though if they can't work with me i'm glad they at least have each other. still, i'm jealous.

i am jealous that big t is friends w/ my publisher, though i personally do not want to be friends w/ my publisher cos she drives me up a wall most of the time. then i wonder what big t can see in her?

i am jealous that donut seems to becoming closer and closer to sunshine and one of my co-workers/employees. again, i don't personally want to become closer to my co-worker (i'm close to sunshine) but they all go to lunch together all the time now. i am invited, but can't handle being around them that much so i sometimes make up other things to do to avoid them.

getting this out of my head and putting it in writing really makes it seem (because it is) very, very petty and selfish. again, it goes back to me being possessive. good lord, could there be ONE more flaw in this stellar character???

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I get weird jealous twinges every once in a while, so you're not alone. I will try to think of some examples for your entertainment.

Sweet T

broad minded said...

well i get way jealous about how close you and donut are. i feel like a tool for feeling that way, but hopefully my admitting it will make you feel better about your issues.

heck, i even get jealous of the step daughter and her relationship with the husband sometimes.

everyone does it. trust me, you are not alone.

Kristin.... said...

I'm a jealous person by nature. It's not good.
I tried to redeem myself in today's blog.......can I work for the tourism board now?

Trish said...

I totally get that way at times. BTW, I wouldn't say I'm friends with your publisher.

Creative Kerfuffle said...

i heart all of you : )
broad--weird to be on the receiving end of the jealousy thing.
sweet t--i'm waiting for examples.
trish--it's ok if you ARE friends w/ her, i just don't get it.
kristin--i will read today's post and see if you've redeemed yourself! : )
the thing about all of my friends is that they each bring something unique to my life; no two are alike and i guess because of that i get possessive. thanks for making me feel like i'm not the only one : )

Anonymous said...

Every relationship with family has different pluses and minuses. The nephew (my boy) would never spend the night with at my sister's house, but loves to go places with her. (She has actually never invited him) He realizes that she is smothering him and can only take her for so long. Oh, and by the way did I tell you she is moving to PA the beginning of June? Problem solved!!
SIL

Creative Kerfuffle said...

SIL--lol. ok, i'm sad for YOU cos your sister is moving out of state again, really. and hey, what minuses could there POSSIBLY be to MY part of the family?! ; ) he he

Anonymous said...

I, too, get jealous of the closeness you and Donut have. And I have other groups of friends who get to see each other more often than I can see them, and that makes me a bit jealous, too. I have friends who get to travel a lot more than I do, for fun. But at least I get postcards. :)

Sweet T

broad minded said...

thanks for chiming in sweet t. now i feel less freakish. i think the gist of this CK is that we all feel this way, so you really aren't as weird as you think. sorry;)

Creative Kerfuffle said...

i'm glad i'm not the only freak then : ) it does make me feel much better. though i don't like making YOU jealous.
god, we're all fucked up huh? ; )