Friday, April 17, 2009

i'm coming

i apologize. i haven't been around to your blogs or commenting lately. but, i will. i'm starting slowly. so, if you see that i've commented somewhere and i haven't been to you yet, do not think i've forsaken you, i'm just slow. i will come. i will read. i will comment. because i do love you all : ) and thank you all for the comments/love/support. it really has made a difference.

i had a better day today.

i have to thank my friend bethie (though i don't think she reads this much) because she hooked me up w/ what could possibly be a freelance gig for writing. i am optimistic about it, but, if it doesn't pan out it still made me feel good because it made me realize that i'm not an idiot. i have long held this idea (and i know some of you have had it because we've had this conversation) that one day i'd wake up and people would realize i was a fraud. how could i possibly get paid to write and edit? it's a no brainer type of thing. i've thought that i would be discovered and people would realize i'm not as good as they thought. but, today i realized that i really do know what the hell i'm talking about and people really do believe that i know what i'm talking about. so, it felt good.

the kids are spending the night w/ my bro/sil, gameboy and puddin. the hubs and i went to dinner, then bought some plants and are relaxing.

this weekend i will visit and comment. i will also be consulting w/ the judge (aka the hubs) on the submissions for the contest--you know the one where you were to submit the most uncommon place you'd had sex? so, i will announce that winner on sunday. if you haven't yet submitted a comment or emailed me, you have until sunday : )

8 comments:

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

I couldn't comment earlier but I think you are feeling what anyone who has been laid off is feeling in the early days. You will panick, worry, and fret. Even if you were a nurse, you would ask yourself why you weren't a doctor because they can be self-employed for chrissake. (But you don't want the poopy, vomity, mucusy, bloody, BO glory that comes with being a nurse).

It will be okay.

It WILL be okay. See? Now you have a lovely night with your hubs, some more plants to get in the ground, and can relax a little. That is wonderful about the freelance gig. I myself could never write or edit, so I would hire you. You will find your way. You have a wonderful family that will get you through this. It is amazing how you will adapt (even with spending money on swimsuits for the kids)- you adapt, you keep going, and when you are a famously rich writer you can write a book on how you did it all!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

It must be nice to edit good writing... 10th grade papers can get a trifle, well, I'm not sure how to put it nicely.

Ali said...

You know that feeling like a fraud thing is a well known phenomenon that exists amongst all kinds of professionals. I have definitely felt it from time to time - ah, who am I kidding, ALL THE TIME! It is totally normal but totally not based in fact. I think it's called impostor syndrome or something.

Sorry things are a bit tough at the moment.

only a movie said...

I hear you on the fraud feeling. I think we are our own worst critics.

Glad you had a kid-free night, and glad your husband is so supportive.

Sadly, the most exciting location I can report is mid-day at home whilst two teenagers where sleeping in on New Years Day. That's as risky as it gets for us.

IB said...

One time, before we were married, we did it on the floor of the employee's bathroom at work. Seems weird now, but not so much at that moment. She was worried about germs so I got to lie on the tile.

Sherendipity said...

good to hear you're feeling better.

creative kerfuffle said...

bea---thanks. i know i'm not alone in how i'm feeling nor in being laid off. and i know it will get better.

pseudo---lol, yeah, i can see where 10th grade papers would be hard. it takes everything i have not to FIX the girl's 6th grade papers sometimes.

ali--cool--i didn't know that feeling actually had a name!

only---i highly recommend taking a few more risks : )

ib--what a gentleman you were--being on bottom and all : ) he he

shere---thanks : )

Kristin.... said...

Oh hi! Please tell me you're done thinking that you're a fraud. I may have to come smack you. :)

And shit, I meant to comment on the sex contest because I have some doozies (I KNOW, ME!)....