i have a cough. i think my lungs might have dislodged themselves and are trying to escape my body. i think it is because the hubs and i are for real talking about quitting smoking. for the last two nights i've slept most of the night in a recliner, hoping for some coughing relief. tonight i took some nyquil, hoping to avoid another recliner night (because i will never be one those couples who has separate beds or separate rooms) but damned if i'm still not coughing. i took an over the counter cough/cold thing last night and every four hours today. i also have eaten a bag of cough drops. they aren't very filling.
a week ago the girl was invited to submit an application for the national junior honor society. she had to list all of her activities and leadership positions. hello--6th grade here, what leadership positions. i am not opposed to activities and i know colleges look at that shit, but isn't the fact that you get good grades enough? anyway, i assumed she wouldn't get in because we didn't have much to put on her application for activities and leadership. but low and behold today she was invited to join the NATIONAL JUNIOR HONOR SOCIETY!!!!!! : ) i'm a bit proud : ) i've always known she was smart, but confirmation of it? i'm so proud and happy for her. there is a breakfast swearing in ceremony at the end of the month. : ) this is me, being happy for my brainiac : )
we went to see my gma this evening. i think we're looking at maybe two days left w/ her. she hasn't been awake all day. she came home monday. her brother came to see her yesterday and she talked to the other one on the phone last night. my aunt said after that she just seemed to relax and basically has slept ever since. she hasn't eaten in about 2-3 days and hasn't had anything to drink in a day. you cannot rouse her from her sleep. she is breathing and comfortable. she looked so frail and small in that bed. her chest heaving up and down, face sunken in. asleep, probably dreaming of my paw-paw. i hope i do not out live the hubs by 25 years. i'm not sure i could bear it. but she did. and now she's ready to go.
one of the many things my dad said last night is that he wants me to write my gma's eulogy (and i guess if possible read it). when the hubs told me that i immediately said no, i can't. i've never written anything like that. what do you say? how do you celebrate 80 years with words?
driving home from work today i had the revelation that despite the fact that my gma is dying and my parents and sister are trying their best to out-drama one another and the fact that i'm still so behind at work and deadlines are looming and the fact that i might soon need a lung transplant because i'm quite sure when i next cough and mine go flying onto the floor the dogs will scarf them down i am feeling peaceful and happy.