Tuesday, March 11, 2008

parents and sex

the egg post and the comments that sprung from it got me to thinking. (i'm brain dead at the moment so this could be ugly. the hubs is out of town, i couldn't sleep last night and this day light savings shit is kicking my ass more than usual. i could still be asleep right now, or at least an hour ago).

though it freaked me the hell out that the girl discovered my egg and that she asks so many probing questions, i am sort of glad for it. i want her to ask. i don't want her to grow up thinking sex is taboo or that her body is taboo or tote around the sexual baggage i've had. with all of my thoughts/hangups (i know, you're thinking uh, YOU have hangups? trust me, i do) you'd think i was raised in a highly religious home.

i guess my hope is that she (and the boy for that matter) grow up knowing the hubs and i love each other and have a healthy sex life (what is a HEALTHY sex life? who knows). not that we have sex right there in the living room (at least not when they're awake) but i mean i want them to see us hug and cuddle and kiss (not deep throat) and realize that moms and dads love each other like that.

my parents were not often physical with each other. i rarely saw them hug or kiss or show any affection. however, there were a few times when i was a teenager that freaked me out. i heard them having sex one night. their room was across the hall from mine and we were a family that left the bedroom doors open at night. you'd think they could have closed it for that.

another time the hubs and i had gone to the movies; i was about 15-16. i don't think we'd been dating long. when we got home and i unlocked the door my parents were under a blanket on the couch. my dad poked his head out and was waving my mom's underwear. they'd been drinking. (hmmm, many of these times involved alcohol; hmmm, probably another shrink session in there). i was mortified. the hubs laughed and to this day thought it was funny and was not embarrassed.

i guess my point is that if my kids growing up seeing affection and love that the sex part won't gross them out or won't be so taboo.

am i kidding myself? what were your parents like? do you think that influenced how you see sex now?

3 comments:

broad minded said...

my parents weren't real lovey, but i think no matter how your parents are the thought of them getting it on is just gross. but it probably helps the kids have a healthier relationship to see their parents be affectionate, that i will give you.

Creative Kerfuffle said...

at one point it did gross me out that my parents had sex. now that they don't it doesn't gross me out as much; i just feel sorry for them.
CK

Anonymous said...

My parents were affectionate, but not overly so. I thought it was nice, but the thought of them in bed still freaks me out a bit. I can say that I was definitely more influenced by my dad's fear of being seen naked than my mom walking around in her underwear while she changed clothes after work.

Sweet inhibited T