Yes, it's 11:48, Sunday morning and I crawled out of bed less than 30 minutes ago. I'm a slug. Seriously, these last few weekends we've slept in past 10 a.m. and that can't be good. BK (before kids) when The Hubs often worked nights it wasn't uncommon for us to sleep until 2 p.m. on the weekends. I think a lot of it is stress. The Hubs' schedule has been hectic, he's going out of town again this week, maybe for 1 day maybe for 2, we don't know for sure yet. My workload is horrible, I'm talking horrible. The worst part is that I can't focus on it at all. It's like I'm in my own little la-la land and I look at the list of 50 million things I have to get done and then that procrastinator in me says, yeah, but you can do that tomorrow.
What do you do when you know you have a flaw, you're painfully aware of it but have no idea how to fix or change it? I know I'm a horrible procrastinator, I've always been one, in school, college, my career, home, etc. It's almost like I set myself up for failure subconsciously.
What else? My Brother and SIL and nephew came over for dinner last night. We hadn't seen them one on one for awhile so it was good to have them over. My Bro is thinking about having a heart to heart with my folks about their house and their relationship. I'm not so sure that's a good idea or that it will change anything. He's done this before, told them they need to get their shit together, clean their house, be better grandparents, etc. We've had the family meetings, which are always a nightmare, where everyone says what they're pissed about and it just escalates everyone's level of being pissed and nothing changes.
It's interesting because more often than not he takes on the role of the oldest child. Maybe he feels led to do so, maybe he cares more than I do. I know it sounds sad or mean or just wrong, but I really don't care enough to sit them down and tell them to fix things. I know they won't, I know things won't change.
For some reason we started talking about memories last night too. Oddly enough I just expected The Bro and I to have similar memories of different places we've lived, but we didn't. There are some common memories, but you have to remember, we're almost seven years apart in age. When The Bro was talking about living in Germany he mentioned a favorite teacher (he was in elementary school there) and believe it or not The Hubs had the same teacher the first time he was in Germany and in elementary school. One more example of how the threads of our lives are tightly bound together. (Ok, maybe a little melodramatic, but still very cool in my head at least.)
Non sequitor--The Hubs reminded me that when I started this blog I didn't want him to read it. (Which of course he does.) I don't know who I started writing it for, me I guess because initially I don't think I told anyone about it. A handful of my friends read it on a regular basis, you know who you are : ), and sometimes I get random readers who I'm sure have just hit the Next Blog button. However, there are a few people reading it on a regular basis who don't make comments and I don't know who they are. This is unbelievably intriguing to me. I mean yeah, I can see how my friends and family might get a kick out of this, and I of course love doing it because I get off on writing/reading, but if there's someone out there who doesn't know me and is reading and enjoying this that's just like frosting on the cake.