Monday, September 13, 2010

soccer, party, work and more

saturday was the girl's first soccer game. for those of you who've been reading for awhile you know that i/we are not sporty people. we don't watch sports on tv (i do not count the wrestling that the boy watches as a sport) and my kids have never played organized anything, they've never really had an interest.

i am happy to say i enjoyed watching the girl play. although her team lost, i think she played well, especially since it was her first time. she was IN the game, her head was in it, she was paying attention, she was trying. i swear i almost teared up a few times watching her.

******************
saturday afternoon we went to my sister's to celebrate my youngest nephew's first birthday. he is such a little buddha. one year old wearing 2T clothing. as you know, i'm not close to my sister or her family so it is not like it was a warm fuzzy event. it wasn't bad. it was cordial. my parents were there. the first time i've seen my dad since the falling out in march. it was fine. he's never been much for conversation so it's not like that had changed. it is what it is.

i find it interesting that during our whole separation from my parents my mother was lamenting not being able to see her kids or grandkids (though we had expressly told her arrangements would be made if she wanted to see them) and now that the veil has been lifted she makes no effort. for someone who has so many regrets and wishes things were otherwise, she really hasn't made any changes in how she deals w/ people. i am perfectly fine w/ the level of contact we have right now (barely any), i just shake my head at what she says she wants and what she's willing to work for.

*****************
friday i got a call from a company i've interviewed with twice now--the same company that has hired from w/in each time. i have been doing a little bit of freelancing for them and now they want me to actually write an article. part of me is like hells yes, this is great. but the subject matter--oy vey, financial shit. i have a week to do it (which is kinda short notice for something like this). my stomach churns every time i think about it, but it is money and that's always good. i have also heard that freelancing for this company is often your secret to getting hired. oddly enough they had another job posted this weekend, for which i applied. so, we'll see. i applied for another job that i'm more excited about. it's for a non-profit. i don't know why i keep leaning towards those positions. i guess i feel like i'm at the point now where when i do get a full-time gig i want it to matter, not just to our bottom line but i'd like to feel like i'm actually doing something good for the world.

********************
we watched the big music awards show last night. i'm not generally an award show watcher, but my kids are of the age now that they are interested in such things. it is no secret that i'm not "hip to the times" as far as current music/videos. aside from the videos the kids see on teen nick, i can't remember the last time i watched an actual music video. back in the day when mtv used to show them (rather than the programming they have now) i was enthralled w/ videos. it's no surprise that i hardly recognized any of the nominees/winners last night. i felt sorry for anyone who was nominated w/ lady gaga though because she pretty much swept the awards. i like her music, even if i really can't understand half of what she wears. i got a kick out of cher coming on stage to present the final award though, dressed in her famous black net-barely-there costume from years ago with the giant hair. say what you want about cher--i think anyone that looks the way she does at her age who has the voice that she does--well, it's just amazing. like tina turner. holy hell that woman can sing and looks half her age.

*********************
i have found a long lost friend on fb. she was one of my two best friends in high school. there were three of us that were thicker than thieves. when we got back to the states after graduation of course we scattered like dandelions. we managed to get together once, as a group, while we were in college, but after that we drifted. this girl (i'll call her texas) ended up out west while the other girl (i'll call her georgia) and i ended up on the east coast. for awhile we all kept in touch. around the time i got married texas and i lost touch, she didn't come to the wedding, and we really hadn't had much contact since. georgia and i remained close for several years and then had a falling out when she got married. i couldn't make it to her wedding--this was the time frame when we had two mortgages, i'd just started a new job, and my life was incredibly hectic and stressful. to this day we send christmas cards, say happy birthday, etc. but rarely communicate. back when i first started the blog i was pondering my ability to be a friend and i guess that's something i never get over. i have reconnected w/ friends from high school and college on fb but i really cannot remember the details of why we lost contact in some instances.

******************
i finished reading eat, pray, love. though i still wonder how in the hell you get a writing gig like that---being paid in advance to travel to three countries for a year and write about it--i am mostly over my jealousy. i really enjoyed the book, though sometimes felt the author was a little too much, but maybe that was envy permeating my reading. i think i'd love to go to italy; india and bali, not so much.

when she was describing a characteristic of italians she said they don't make plans. in italy if you asked someone to dinner next week they would not committ because they have no idea what they'll be doing next week or if they'll be alive. (i'm quite sure i'm not explaining this as she did in the book, but the idea stuck w/ me). the italians do not take anything for granted, that they'll be here tomorrow, etc. so they don't make plans. i have this problem. not that i don't think i will be here tomorrow, but i think i must have committment issues. it is hard for me to make a written in stone plan for a week from now. what if something comes up? not something BETTER, like i don't want to make plans w/ you to have dinner in case something better comes along, i just cannot wrap my brain around saying, yes, i will be xyz at 3:30 on such and such day. i am more of a spur of the moment type of person. or a have-someone-else-plan everything person. i think it would be a great gift if one whole day of fun was completely planned for me by someone else. onlyamovie mentioned in a post that her better half took charge of a saturday one weekend. she didn't have to make any decisions. he decided what they were doing for the day, where they would go to dinner, etc. that sounded so completely wonderful to me.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Funny, I am a make-plans type of person, but my husband is more like you. Yet he gets aggravated at me if I try to be more spontaneous and won't give him a firm answer about something. It has been a source of many an argument. I like to have things to look forward to like vacations and events, but I may not want to decide if I'm going to lunch with friends after church until that moment. Drives him nuts! So I find myself not doing those smaller things because I don't want to argue about it later.

Sweet T

Grey Ghost said...

Never lose touch with friends or family,I did and regret it.I lost my friends during my marriage,even my best man.And when it ended the only friends we had were hers. A stupid little disagreement drove a wedge between my family and I,so now I have no family.
If you do,one day you'll regret that last angry word,that last missed visit.

Firegirl said...

I really like the sentence "what she says she wants and what she's willing to work for." I am going to think on that one for awhile.

We watched the VMA's on fast forward. Loved Eminem, of course. I like Lady GaGa's music but I get weary of the whole costume thing.

I am a horrible friend when it comes to making plans. I simply suck at it.