Monday, September 27, 2010

family ties

this weekend we went to wv for one of my cousins' weddings. we had a really great time, but when i asked the boy about how much fun he'd had he said, well, i don't mean to be mean but i've had more fun with the other stuff than the reason we actually came here (the wedding). this is the first time we've ever gone "home" and stayed in a hotel--the aunt we would have stayed w/ was the mother of the groom so of course we weren't going to impose on her. staying in the hotel was pretty nice though because there was an indoor pool and hot tub and workout room. we swam every day! my bro and his family (and my sis and her family) and one of my aunts and uncles were also at the hotel. (i checked, no bedbugs. at least i didnt' see any signs of them.)

most of the family was at the wedding. my mom comes from a family of 7--she's one of four sisters, they have a brother and two step brothers (one died when i was in college). mom is the oldest. all of her siblings have kids and i'm the oldest of that crew--the youngest is 16. the cousin that got married is in his early 20s and i remember him as a toddler when i was in college. such a long time ago.

the wedding was nice, although the setup was unlike any i'd ever been too. the wedding and reception were at a women's club, we could see the state capital from the street. there were tables set up for the wedding, rather than rows of seats, that doubled as your table for the reception. interesting (and i'm sure cost saving) setup. it was curious, but not surprising, to see which families sat at which tables. my mom & sister sat with the aunt my mom is closest too; the alma-mater crew (my uncle and his sons & their families) sat with my youngest aunt & her family and my uncle (who's the step brother) sat near our table, which was my brother's family and mine. the bridesmaids wore chocolate brown--which i loved. the ceremony was short and simple. afterwards they did a couple's dance and a father/daughter dance (and the hubs CRIED! ha!). later i asked my aunt why no mother/son dance and she said he didn't want to. (i've already informed the boy that when he gets married we're dancing, whether he wants to or not). aside from that there was no other dancing or music. odd. during the reception the hubs (or maybe it was one of my kids) asked my aunt/motherofthegroom, if she cried during the ceremony and she said no, i'm heavily medicated. really? (i come from a long line of medicators.) i told the hubs i know i'll be a sobbing basket case at both of my kids' weddings, but dammit i want to FEEL those emotions, not be zoned out. sheesh.

i guess the biggest "secret" of the day was that the bride is pregnant. this was not the reason for the wedding---they've been dating for years and got engaged last summer/fall? and i think she turned up pregnant a month ago? of course it wasn't discussed at all and probably if you didn't know you couldn't tell. for the record--she's not the first person in our family to be knocked up on her wedding day.

my kids of course do not know half of these people and were asking me all weekend, how are we related to so-and-so? who is so-and-so's dad? etc.

friday night we had dinner w/ my uncle (the step brother) and aunt and my grandpa (who's the step uncle's dad). every time i see them i remember how much i like them and wonder why we don't visit them. they are a lot like us in that they are the black sheep of the family from their generation. they moved away from wv early on. they rose above the drama that is part of the fabric of the family. i don't know the details, but i do know there were hard feelings between this uncle and my grandma and grandpa. my grandparents were married for probably 40+ years (my maternal gpa had died when my youngest aunt was still a baby) and i think during a lot of that time my step uncles lived w/ their mom.

the hubs took full advantage of the "gym" at the hotel and actually got up at 7am on saturday to work out. we swam and hung out w/ my bro, sil and the kids most of the time. saturday afternoon we went to the wedding and then later went to my aunt's house (mother of the groom) to eat and visit w/ family. it was fine. everyone kept saying how much the girl looks like me. w/ so many people around i didn't have to spend much time at all w/ my parents, which was even better.

our drive from nc to wv is only about 4-4 1/2 hours and we go through two tunnels to get there. every time we go through the second tunnel i pop in the john denver, country roads, song...and get all teary eyed. you enter the tunnel in va and come out in wv. i don't know why that song makes me cry, but it does (i could have put that on my music list firegirl!). the kids make fun of me. it's a tradition.

overall it was a good weekend, but i'm always glad to get home. it rained all the way home yesterday and it's rained all day today. we needed it. hopefully this means cooler temps are here to stay.

2 comments:

Firegirl said...

I feel that way when I head into my "hometown" where I went to school and lived with Michael. Mostly because it hasn't changed much.

John Denver...it makes me giggle every time you mention it.

The Mayor said...

I'm pleased to hear you had a good time at a family event. There must have been enough buffer between you and the rents that you could return home without 100 pounds of angst.

Good for you.