Monday, December 20, 2010

grinchee

that's how i'm feeling. five days until christmas and i'm so not in the mood. i've been trying. really i have. we've decorated. i've finished shopping and mostly finished wrapping. and yet....here i sit, wondering when i'm going to get that inner peace/glow/burst of happiness.

the kids are off from school from now until the first of the year.

i am worried about money. i am worried about finding a job. i am really worried about that.

i am tired of hearing people say, everything happens for a reason. the right job will find you. really? 19 months is a fucking long time to wait. i send out resumes. i scour the ads and the internet.

yesterday we were watching an episode of mythbusters (i love those guys) and they were testing this idea from a movie where people can hang on to the edge of a building's ledge indefinitely. first the ledge was 2" wide; they hung on for about a minute and a half. they gradually decreased the width until it was 1/2 an inch. they couldn't even hold on for a second. that is how i'm feeling right now. like the ledge keeps getting smaller and smaller and it's not a matter of if, but when i will start freefalling. and i don't have a safety harness on.

5 comments:

Hotch Potchery said...

This might be completely off base and jackassy, and please tell me if that is the case.

Have you thought at all about retraining? Becoming something else, journalism is really getting beat up right now. There are good, reputable online programs, and with the state of affairs as they are, you would likely get financial aid...

You might not believe this, but my word verification is

trainiti

Annabelle said...

Yikes, I don't blame you for your lack of festivity.

I like the above suggestion...maybe there's just a different job waiting for you. Or maybe something on the fringes of writing? I know my firm has hired writers for marketing related reasons.

I sincerely hope a solution finds its way to you soon.

only a movie said...

I know you've considered trying to get certified to teach. It may be worth trying. You could probably get a conditional certificate with your B.A. No that there are teaching jobs... but looking into other industries is something I'm sure you're doing.

I am sorry you don't have the Christmas spirit. Just try to enjoy your family to the extent you can. Totally feel like I'm treading water for our Christmas season as well. Ack.

xoxoxo

Karon said...

Can't you just write a book? :) hehe

tulpen said...

I'm pushing the money issues out of my head until January. Then I will freak the f**k out.

I love Mythbusters too. Last night they tested 'Slapping Sense' into somebody. Was hysterical. And it just may work.

I have no advice on the job thing.