Sunday, February 28, 2010

expectations--fail

this has been one of the most nerve racking, hair pulling weekends we've had in a long, long time. the faux baby the girl brought home for her life-skills class has been unbelievably hard. i honestly think the thing is broken. the girl has been stressed out, really stressed out. we've all lost sleep and are exhausted for the most part. it has inspired conversations though.

the girl has gotten so upset when she can't find the right key to meet the baby's needs. she's cried. she gets frustrated. she said it makes her feel like a failure. i explained that sometimes real parents feel that way too. having a baby is a hard job, but when it is your own it is worth it. you love it, you care for it, it's much different than a doll. she thanked me for getting up w/ it in the middle of the night.

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my parents. i don't even know where to start w/ this round of craziness. the hubs talked to my dad and explained why we wouldn't be partaking in their camper-fun-fest this summer. the hubs said my dad seemed to understand and said he'd explain it to my mom. the very next day my mom went home sick from work and cancelled our shopping on saturday. (she'd guilted me in to going shopping w/ her to pick out accessories for her new living room.) that same afternoon my dad drunk dialed my brother's house in the afternoon, knowing full well my brother was at work. i suppose he expected to reach my sil and instead he reached her mom, who was babysitting. did he politely leave a message? hell no. he talked my sil's mother's ear off about how my mom was home sick, it was probably stress related and she was upset and how if my bro/sil also weren't partaking in the camper-fun-fest they'd need to let my mom down easy because she was so upset. REALLY?

saturday i tried to call my mom, who was asleep each time i called. when i did finally reach her she said nothing about the "stress" or being upset but that she'd gone to the doctor that morning and they were going to do blood work tomorrow. my parents are so fucked up i don't even know what to think any more. today the hubs helped move some furniture for them, because he said he would before all of this stress/mess happened. he tried to get my mom to come clean and be honest about being upset, but of course she didn't. later she sent an email thanking him and telling him she was not upset w/ him/us for not going camping and of course she understood.

at this point i don't even know what the truth is with this whole situation, all i know is my dad shouldn't pick up the phone when he's drinking, my mom shouldn't build castles in the sky and then get stressed out when they come crumbling down and if she is using her health as a guilt tactic she needs to knock it the hell off.

i feel as if i'm coming to the point where i need to have a talk w/ her. so many times over the years the hubs has run interference for me, not because i've asked him to but because he'd rather be the bad guy than have me confront them and be the bad guy. i just don't know that i can keep quiet any longer. i just need everything out on the table because each time they pull this stupid shit like they did this weekend i feel worse and worse about them.

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platinum weddings. oh my holy hell. talk about expectation fail. we've been numbly watching these episodes for the last hour or two and it is insane. i keep thinking of all the girls growing up these days, girls watching these shows and thinking this is the norm. this is what weddings should be like. where in the hell do these people get their money? and why, oh why do they waste all of that money on ONE day of their lives? is it because i've been married so long that i am no longer wowed by the pomp and ceremony of a wedding? that i think spending a quarter of a million dollars on ONE day of your life is beyond ridiculous?

7 comments:

only a movie said...

I'm sorry Declan had colic. Poor Heidi. I hope she isn't too hard on herself...

Your mom using her health to manipulate the situation sounds oh-so familiar. And your husband is good to run interference.

I hate the expectations that kids who grew up with reality tv have. Other half's older daughter is a freshman in college and ohmyword the entitlement. This weekend was rough in that regard. Hence my post tonight.

Since I am blogging in your comment area, perhaps I will vent via email...

Happy Sunday. Yikes, I need to go to bed...! xo

Not Your Aunt B said...

Platinum weddings are crazy! It is for the rich and my girls will know we ain't rich and you ain't git'n no fancy pants weddin' neithers! (Said just like that). Sorry to hear about your family drama. Ugh.

Juani said...

I am with you on hating the whole 'super-expensive wedding' thing.Why waste good money on a day that should only be the start of your lives as married people,not the be all and end all of all our days together.I would seriously prefer getting married in front of a judge or something,and just having a bbq afterward.That's way more my type of thing.

Firegirl said...

The wedding shows...ugh...how about the Bridezilla show? I can't watch it, it makes me want to own a gun & use it. hahahaha. I think those weddings are in the same category as theme weddings (Star Wars, Medieval time, etc)simply because they're putting on a Show instead of focusing on the reason for the day.

Those life-like dolls are a killer! I don't think I could have done it at her age. My 26 cents worth is why ARE they doing it at so young of an age? I would think freshman year of high school would be more appropriate.

And you rock for explaining it so well to her. That was great!

And while I'm hijacking your post...I should just email but here I am...I agree with your plan: one huge, air-it-all-out talk, including listing consequences if the craziness continues. (no grandchild visits, no calls, no whatever) Drawing a hardline like that will SUCK HUGE but I think you'll feel better in the long run.

Hotch Potchery said...

Did you see the Platinum wedding where the mom gave the daughter about $150K of jewelry????

Sorry about your parent situation...even moving them far away doesn't remedy the situation, just makes them too far to drive over and hit.

Penny said...

Ha, I agree with my sister. When my mom lived far away we used to complain because we really thought she needed a face punch but it wasn't worth the drive...

That baby? HOLY CRAP. I had an egg (I think you mentioned you did too) but Jeez that sounds stressful!

drollgirl said...

all this family shit can be so TAXING. i guess the choices are confronting it or avoiding it. i don't know which is better!