it was just a matter of time really. just a matter of time before my happy balloon was deflated by the harsh reality that being unemployed brings. it's not like i have been unaware that we could not survive forever w/out me having a job. granted i am getting unemployment but that weekly check is less than half of my equivalent weekly pay was. we have survived this long thanks to a severance package that we immediately banked and the hubs' mad skillz w/ money and budgeting and finances. he has made it work.
i have kept hoping, assuming, thinking that i would have a job by now. i apply for everything. ok. not everything because i'm not qualified for everything and not everything because i do need to make a certain amount of money, but otherwise everything.
the severance has been our safety net and it is about gone. after that we can cash in the hubs' 401k--by by future. after that there is nothing. nothing. today in my job hunt i expanded it from the local 40 mile radius to the whole damn country. well, let's be honest, we aren't moving to nyc (where there are tons of publishing jobs listed) and we aren't moving to california or chicago or any place that gets more snow than we get here in nc.
i am not opposed to moving. i'm really not. i think the hubs thinks i'm tied here because of my family. i'm not. i would hate to leave my bro/sil and their kids, but i think we'd still be close even if we didn't live close.
and, as much as i love our house and yard, i could move. i'd be digging up a lot of plants before we did, but otherwise, i could leave this house and start over.
part of me would even get a little excited about the prospect of a new city, new state, new anything to mold again. but it also scares me. there is no guarantee that the economy would be any better elsewhere.
my kids would be devastated. this is all they've ever known. they have friends from kindergarten here, kids they've grown up w/. that is something the hubs and i never had. even though now i am glad for the moving around i did as a kid, i also longed for the roots that living in the same town had.
so i sit here, wondering what tomorrow will bring, trying to cope w/ two kids who are bored out of their mind because it is day two of no school and possibly no school for the entire week if the weather has it's way with us. the boy is clamouring to play monopoly, again, the girl keeps saying she is bored and wants to go out, somewhere, anywhere (which would certainly involve spending money) and i just want someone to call and give me a fucking job already.