focus; kung fu; a crippling syndrome; wind and climbing

if you (god forbid) ever get laid of and your douche canoe company offers you services with an out placement company--do it. today i met w/ an out placement agency, i don't know if that's what they're actually called, but they help you spiff up your resume, give you some resources on job hunting etc. lots of fluffy stuff but mainly? they focus you. so far in this job hunt i've been mass marketing myself, and not successfully i might add.

part of the issue is that i've been working so long i don't know what to do next. i've been applying for anything and everything. and? as a writer/editor you'd think i'd have a kick ass resume, but alas it is boring as hell. so, i'm going to rewrite it, refocus and land a job.

the thing is, i have all of these ideas running through my head of what i'd like to do, but they are really whispers of ideas, not full on detailed ideas. today's meeting just might be the thing i need to figure out what it is i really want and need to do.

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omg--did you see the story about david carradine? wow. sad. and on a totally random tangent, last night the hubs and i were flipping through the channels caught the tail end of kung fu panda (animated w/ jack black). if you haven't seen it, do. it's one of the best pixar/dreamworks whoever animations. even if you don't have kids, watch it : ) btw--jack black, whom i think is super cool, was born on my birthday : ) skidoosh.

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this afternoon i'm taking the kids out to run some errands. the girl's mission is to purchase highlighters. she has been doing extra chores (laundry) to earn more money cos her allowance won't cover it. mind you, these are not just any highlighters, but retractable, sharpie highlighters. in AWESOME colors. it should be noted, she has one week of school left. she does not need highlighters. alas, the girl suffers from SSS--stationery supply syndrome. it's a common disease, probably genetic because i have it too. pens, papers, , journals, notebooks, school/office supplies--they are like crack to SSS sufferers. you want to touch them, fondle them, use them (and, w/ markers in particular, you want to smell them). up until now i was fortunate enough to get my fix at work. what? you don't "borrow" office supplies? yeah, whatev.

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wind beneath my wings. i heard this song on the radio today and several thoughts entered my brain.

first--i love this song and bette midler and the movie beaches. bette midler could play me if my life story were ever made into a movie (except, ya know, i can't sing and i don't have strawberry blonde/auburn hair). second, the hubs is the wind beneath my wings. ok, shut the fuck up i know that sounds totally cornbally and you just threw up a little in (oops, almost typed my) YOUR mouth (cos really, throwing up in MY mouth would be skanky and jank (a new word i learned from the boy) but it's true. i don't dis him much here, partly because he does lurk from time to time and doesn't comment (mofo, you should leave a comment now and then!), but mostly because i don't have a lot to bitch about. oh sure, he has made the HYSTERICAL comment that since the layoff we are like wachovia and first union (or whichever bank took over the other) and that he's declared me insolvent and now all acquisitions have to be pre-approved and some other mumbo jumbo bullshit (ha--i might just get my own damn highlighters today thankyouverymuch!) but despite his :::coughcoughlamecoughcough:::: attempts at levity, he has always been incredibly supportive of me.

it's odd because while i have moved into a stress-less role (except for the stress/worry of finding a job) he has become more stressed because he's the one bringing home the bacon. there is no safety net of me having a job right now. he works for a lucky sperm boy and i know, I KNOW, it takes everything he has not to go in and tell said lucky sperm boy to fuck off and die on a daily basis. the plan is that once i have a job that we get him out of there and into a new job.

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you know those guilty pleasure songs that you love/keep running through your head but you are soooooo embarrassed to admit you like? ok, well, because you've read this far i'm going to share one w/ you. i'd put the video on here but we're having speaker issues w/ the desktop and i can't hear it so i'm posting the lyrics instead. because really, the lyrics to this song are what i like the most. are you sitting down? cos you are going to bust the hell out laughing---miley cyrus, the climb. (ok, it wasn't THAT funny!) here are the lyrics:

I can almost see it

That dream I am dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head saying

"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down

But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it

But these are the moments that

I'm gonna remember most, yeah

Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong

Just keep pushing on'

Cause there's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing

Keep the faith, baby

It's all about, it's all about the climb

Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

and finally, a joke. what do you call it when miley cyrus falls of the stage? a ho down.

yeah, i laughed but didn't get the whole meaning because apparently she has a song called hoe down so it's even more apropos. and for the record, the GIRL told me this inappropriate joke. yeah, i'm proud.