saturday, in the park

well, no not really but last night i downloaded a buttload of music to put on the mp3 for my trip tomorrow. i'd totally forgotten to add any phil collins, chicago, don henley, van morrison or i'll melt w/ you. duh. i think i probably need another mp3 player cos mine holds about 500 songs. i have added many of your suggestions, though broad--i couldn't get too far into the grunge thing. i did put lump on there : ) i didn't intend to fill that thing up with all the songs i've loved (and probably have on cd somewhere) since the 5th grade, but it seems i've done so. eh, i can always change it. i also have etta james, nina simone and hall & oates on there : )

i'm also digging my google reader. i still poke around random blogs from time to time, but reader really lets me keep up w/ the people i want to read every day. i'm beginning to think there's something wrong in the universe or maybe it's just that whole theory (i can't think of the name of it now) that we're all some how connected by these invisible (to most people) threads. i am not the only one in a funk. i did get some relief by starting my period. this is gross but it was like popping a pimple. i think the thing that pisses me off the most about my situation is that technically it's in my control to fix. i could hypothetically quit my job. i think if i had a different job things would be different. but then two years ago i felt like that, got another job (this one) and look where i am now right?

the hubs and i are fine. well, like in the big picture point of view we're fine. he's in a rut too though. two people in a rut and not necessarily the same rut. imagine wagon wheel tracks. we're little tiny, each walking in our own track, trying to reach across the rut in the road. we're going in the same direction, we can hear each other talking, but we're each in our own hole. god, that sounds even worse than it is.

the hubs says we need outlets. i'm trying to think what my outlet should be or is. in a perfect world it would be exercise. isn't that what people to do relieve stress? yeah, i'll wait while you quit laughing. it's not like i don't DO stuff. it's just that sometimes i don't know how to turn my brain off from all the bad crap. i compose emails in my sleep; think about things i should do or should have done for work; wonder why after all these changes my boss hasn't asked me once how things are going...etc.

i leave tomorrow for las vegas for work. calm down, it's not as exciting as it seems. initially when i started w/ this company 6-7 yrs ago the first year i thought the trips were cool. after that it's like, holy shit, i have to go out of town again? outsiders looking in think it's glamorous. my mom still can't believe that i travel, sometimes by myself, and rent cars and drive in OTHER CITIES. it's working pretty much 12 hour days, mostly on your feet and ALWAYS having to be on--smiling, engaged, knowledgeable, etc. yes, yes, i do get to see rod stewart monday night. that is in two days. i don't know that i'll actually get a picture of him, apparently his "handlers" are not being so accomodating to the press. hmph.