effing transformers

this post might be lost on some if you didn't grow up playing with transformers or have kids who play with transformers.

whoever invented these hellacious morphing fucking robots should have every bone in their bodies broken and then rubik's cubed into a folding chair or something because these toys are a pain in the fucking ass.

i suppose i am getting retribution because my nephew has been into transformers longer than the boy has and i've quietly smiled inside whenever he brings the transforming spawn of satan toy to my SIL and says mommy fix this. she, like me, has no clue how to fold and unfold these pieces of plastic that require a 10 page booklet filled with unreadable diagram instructions to get them to morph from a robot to a truck.

a mere four hours or so ago the boy bought one of these fucking pieces of dung with his allowance and i didn't bat an eye. now i've been sitting for the last 2o minutes while the hubs is making his family calls trying to figure out where the damn removable arm parts from the robot fit into a truck body. the pictures are no help. they're damn line drawings with arrows pointing every fucking way--no words, no instructions. i hate mother puss bucket transformers.

bastards. i think one night some fucking high college kids were sitting around with a bucket of broken plastic toy parts and started putting them together when one of the bastards had the bright idea to turn them into toys. not having any kids themselves (since they were in college) they thought little plastic pieces of evil that rotate and snap and click and look alike and turn from motorcycles to cyclops robots or boats into flame throwing robots were cool. mother fuckers. so they made the damn things, sold them to some fucking body like tyco or something and then the rest was history.

i hope the shit heads that invented them now have kids of their own and have to suffer the same fucking stupid torture they've inflicted on the rest of us. may they rot in toy hell.

i am making a pact with my SIL that we will not give transforming fucking toys for the boys' birthdays. if these disappear and are lost forever i will not cry.

long live real super heroes and their costumes and action figures!