Clothes encounters

Last night I made the mistake of running out after work to find an outfit (or something) for an upcoming business trip. Mistake I say because at certain times of the month I could try on the best fitting, most flattering piece of cloth and hate it. That time is now.

As we all know I'm no style diva. I don't really even have a style unless Vogue is now writing about comfortable clothing that shows little skin. Even in the warm months I don't show much skin, mainly because it's not the firmest or tannest it could be. I digress.

So I'm in the dressing room trying on clothes and I'm thinking, why do they think women who are a certain size are also 6 foot tall? Am I the shortest woman in the world? No, that would be my grandmother. Everything I tried on was like a mile too long, legs and arms. Perhaps I have a limb deficiency I'm not aware of.

I didn't find anything new, it was a doomed adventure.

This got me to thinking about my closet. Am I the only person in the world who has a closet that contains clothes you don't like? I bought them all so I assume at one time or another I liked them, but I have stuff in my closet that I hate and it probably isn't that flattering anyway. I might have bought it because it was on sale or I was smoking crack that day or someone mistakenly told me it looked good.

I have decided to be ruthless with my closet and get rid of the stuff I've not worn in a year (yes, I have several things in this category) and get rid of the clothes I don't like. I have a sweater in there that I know for a fact is at least 10 years old and faded and damned if I don't trot the thing out and wear it about once a winter. It's hideous!

Of course once I do this I will probably be seen wearing the same three outfits for awhile--but then I think I do that anyway! I would totally love to have one of those image make overs--though not one on TV because that's just humiliating. But I'd love to have someone tell me these are the colors I should wear, the type of pants, skirts, etc. Where's the clothes fairy Godmother/Godfather when you need her/him?????