We survived the birthday week celebration for the 10 year old, however, Friday when I picked the kids up from daycare she dropped a bomb on us.
She has a BOYFRIEND. This explains why she started not only brushing her hair without being told but actually putting it in a ponytail, which I've not been able to get her to do since I controlled how her hair looked when she left my house. This girl that hated jeans not more than a week ago (they're tight--how can something be tight when you're skinny and 10?--and uncomfortable--regardless of how many different pair we try on) now has decided she needs more jeans. Ah so says Mom--of course there's a boy.
This is different from the boyfriends she's had before because in fact this young lad has reciprocated her feelings. We're in trouble. She was giggly and bubbly and excited and worried about saying anything to the Hubs. He handled it better than I thought, though I think internally a small part of him died. I had just told him on her birthday that before the next 10 years he'd lose his influence over her, and so it's already started.
In the course of a few days my baby has turned into a young girl. I know she's only 10 but these events are just the first of many that are going to happen in rapid succession now and before I know it she really will be living in a dorm on a campus somewhere and not in my house. This may be harder on me than on the Hubs.
Friday night, the third night of the birthday celebration week, the Girl had a sleep over with her best friend. This is the first year we've been able to say best friend as despite all of her myriad attributes the Girl is quite shy and comes off stuck up. This has caused her to have a lot of trouble finding the right friend--you know, that friend that is your life line that you grow up with. At least that's what I assume never having had one of those types of friends myself.
Anyway I like this little girl and (so far) what I know about her parents. However this friendship has opened the door to some issues for me. Up until this point we've led a pretty insulated life for the most part. Sure there are the influences of school, daycare, TV and family but now there are influences, stronger influences, of friends. I guess I'm wondering stupid things like does her friend like us? How are we as parents compared to other parents? Does her friend have fun at our house? Does the Girl like having her friend here or would she rather go to her friend's house--like I did when I was younger. I'd much rather spend the night at a friend's house than have them spend the night at mine. Now this does not mean I'm going to be like the mother I heard about on the radio today that helped her 15 year old celebrate her birthday by letting her have a sleep over with 5 other 15 year olds and telling them all they had to pony up $5 for the vodka she let them all drink. The mom was 31 and drunk herself--one of the girls got sick and called her parents and they called the police. No, I will not be that mother rest assured.
I just want to be the type of parent that my kids are not embarrassed over, that her friends want to be around and I guess I want them to like me too because that will also hold influence over the Girl.
We're not in Kansas anymore Dorothy and frankly I'm nervous.