Monday, July 4, 2011

it sneaks up on me, even in sleep

i just had what felt like the longest and most realistic dream i've had in a very long time. my mom and my aunt were throwing a party for my sister. tons of people were there and although we were obviously at some one's house or apartment, i've never been before. there were lots of rooms and the party flowed inside and outside; it was a two story apartment so there were lots of decks and patios too. for the most part i wove in and out of these rooms, avoiding my mom and my aunt and my sister. i would go from room to room doing something---making sushi (which i cannot do) in one room, where the voice of my mom or aunt complained that you couldn't see the shrimp in it. i'd move on to another room to do something else. even if i didn't see them, i'd hear their voices and it would annoy me. eventually i decided to leave, just sneak out. but, the place was a wreck and while i didn't mind leaving my mom and aunt w/ the mess, i didn't want anyone else to think i'd ducked out w/out helping. so i was speed cleaning rooms. tossing plastic cups and plates, etc. then i got to the kitchen, and there they were. my aunt was washing dishes and bitching because my mom had invited my dad. i guess in this dream they were separated or something. my aunt's grandkids were dancing around in this kitchen w/ my mom, who was swinging them and laughing with them, enjoying them. then i exploded. i went off on my aunt and my mom and it was venomous. and then i woke up and i have tears in my eyes.

3 comments:

Annabelle said...

Oh friend.
Hugs n shit.

I wish I had words of wisdom, but I just don't.
I wish I had advice, but there just isn't any.

Wish we could hang out. Comments can only say so much.

only a movie said...

I wish we could hang out as well...

I often have major blowouts with my mom in my dreams. It is satisfying to tell her off at least in one dimension...

xoxo

Anonymous said...

Sorry! I hate it when bad dreams stick with you like that. Although, maybe you can let some of it out that way? Could be constructive.

Love you! It was so good to hang out with you guys recently. We had a really good time.

Sweet T