i know i've already posted today but sometimes the brain kicks into overdrive and cannot be stopped.
first....stop whatever it is you are doing and go to my sidebar and read the post from pseudo and only a movie. they contain clips of longish videos (10-20 mins) but are so worth it you will come back here and give me a big wet kiss. ok, maybe not with tongue, but still. these videos and the ideas in them make me desperate for better education for my kids; make me want to break them out of the institutional mold and stimulate their brains; they make me want reform in education (even though i already wanted it) and i think every education major and teacher need to watch these on a regular basis...hell, everyone who has anything to do w/ kids.
ok, go watch.
the other thought i had isn't as nice and fluffy and soaring, uplifting, exciting. in fact, it kind of outs me as a sniveling, petty person. i can't help it or ignore it.
so....i've talked before about this group of friends i've grown a part from; girls i used to work with at my most recent job. i have lost touch with them for the most part. and, while my head realizes that our lives are on different channels and that part of the reason i was friends w/ some of them was just proximity anyway....it still gives me a little green twinge of jealousy when they talk on fb about getting together. granted....most of the things they do are either at times i can't or are just not for me. you know what? it's not even really about that...it's about the fact that i feel rejected by them. i know that i am not the world's best friend...i am lazy and have little time to invest....but aside from one that i still feel close to and talk w/....none of the others really made any efforts to keep the friendship going either. yeah, i know, suck it up and put on my big girl panties right? i so get it. most days i really, really do not care but other days i feel rejected, and not just in an oh i forgot about you way, but purposefully and maliciously.
and then i feel like a huge douche because....i bet this is how my sister feels when we do stuff w/ my bro and his family and don't include her. granted, i can justify it because .....well i just don't like being around my sister all that much. i have nothing in common with her other than blood and parents. i can justify it by saying it's not like i ever was her friend and then stopped being friends w/ her...because we've never had that relationship. ugh....too many thoughts swirling around today.