the other night the hubs said he missed the old me. the peppy happy me. hmmmm. i've been feeling a bit vanilla for a few weeks. i am not depressed or upset about anything, just....ho-hum. there are no highs or lows. it feels kind of like being on paxil or whatever it was i took after the boy was born. it evened out my moods but everything was flat, no highs or lows.
i suppose it is because i am slipping into a hopeless feeling about jobs. i am sort of proud that i've mostly held on to hope and been positive (aside from off and on slips into the pit of despair) for this long. i never, ever anticipated being unemployed for 14 months w/ no end in sight.
i almost hurled the other day when a fb friend made this comment: you have a wonderful life! this after i posted that it was so humid i'd be living in a pony tail this summer, that the kids and i had spent the morning cleaning house and that it was pool-thirty. now, had someone else made that comment i would have thought they were being sarcastic. however, the person who made the comment isn't sarcastic and she was actually saying i have a wonderful life. she is also one that has commented off and on to enjoy my time off and being w/ my kids. yeah, she can say this as she owns her own business and is making money. i want to gibbs slap her.
speaking of gibbs---the girl and i have started watching ncis. we are true drama queens---by that i mean we are suckers for a drama show. i wonder if i should be alarmed that the girl wants to be like one of the female characters who is a trained assassin.
we're almost through the first full week of summer vacay and the kids have actually (mostly) been good. they've been in the pool just about every day, between our summer thunder storms. we have been playing a lot of a card game called bs.
i need to get my head back on straight and pull myself out of this wallowing i'm doing about the non-profit not calling me in for an interview. the longer this drags out the less hope i have for getting that job.