Monday, August 31, 2009

top that!

ok, so, hotch admittedly has a fucknoodle of a mother (her words, not mine). and i can't help but laugh at some of the stories she tells about her parents because it makes me realize i am not the only person in the world w/ fucked up folks.

(omg this is my third post in as many hours. i have GOT to get off this computer). ok.

so, like i said earlier, my sister is about to pop her third kid out. she's likely to be going in to labor any day now right? so my mom sends email updates to her contacts about this progression. um, ok, if someone is going to the hospital i think that's worth a phone call NOT an email right?

but, emailing allows my mom to let her sisters (who live in different states) and her few friends know what she's up to. this emailing of hers has caused trouble before. she likes to make the rest of the world think she's an awesome mom/grandma by sending these mass emails letting people know when she does something w/ her family/grandkids or when something bad happens. she loves giving people bad news, though she wants you to think she hates it. she likes the attention.

anywho...this morning she sends out an email that she thinks my sister's water has broken, they're on their way to the hospital, etc. and that she herself is at work, waiting to see if it's the real thing or not and she'll keep us all posted. (because all of us are sitting around our email boxes and not doing something productive. ok, I'M on the computer, but i know for a fact the hubs, my bro and sil are working, and they are among the people included on this mass email). it's a mass email. five minutes later she sends THIS:

false alarm.
vaginal infection.

in a MASS fucking email folks! really? are you that fucking retarded? i just responded w/ a tmi. and? if you ever send out a mass email telling people i have a vaginal infection i will kick your ass.

wonder if she'll get a clue? she's pretty clueless about innuendo.

8 comments:

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Oh good god, that is just not right. DOn't let her find out about twitter or she will be telling shit like that to the whole virtual world.

Your sis should deny her getting to see said grand kid for a few days for the vaginal remark.

only a movie said...

Wow. I find some comfort in hearing about effed up family shenanigans. Makes me feel like I'm in good company.
Still - the baby will be fun. :-)
(I like babies)(NOT that I will ever have one of my own again...)

drollgirl said...

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!??! who does that?!?!??! i would clobber her for sure!!!

p.s. my bro and sil, who have 3 kids already, are currently BOTH unemployed and are celebrating that they just landed two foster kids. WTF!??!?!?!?!? just wanted to let you know that there are lots of fucked up families out there. methinks they are kind of excited for the income the foster kids will bring. yes, i am a dickhead for writing that. but there you have it!

Penny said...

That is most embarrassing thing I've heard of in a long time.If I were your sister,I would seriously consider having your mother whacked,or at least yell at her or something.

Penny said...

Ha ha ha ha, that is a good one. It makes me feel better to know other people have nutters for parents, because I knew ours couldn't be the only ones!

(oh and Teddy's mother LOVES to be the bearer of bad news every time we see her it is "so so and is sick or so and so is in the hospital")

Not Your Aunt B said...

That's funny. NOT if it happened to me, but funny that someone is that crazee to announce to everyone her daughter has a vaginal infection. If I were your sister I would be tempted to send a mass email that your mom had something worse. Like a rectal infection.

the Mayor said...

So, you are saying if she doesn't have any really good dope on you all she just makes something up? How vexing.

Maybe your mum has suffered a stroke and damaged the brain cells that allow us to filter things before we say them (or email them)?

Astarte said...

O!M!G! Your poor sister!!!!! Hey, my VAG is infected, y'all!!!! Aargh!

Also, I think if my mother had email, she would be exactly like this. TG she doesn't own a computer.