things that have tripped my trigger lately

...and by lately i mean in the last several months.

music--i have to admit to being a judgemental bitch. i assumed amy winehouse would sing heavy metal music that i would hate--i judged a book by its cover. someone sent me a copy of one of her cds. holy shit she had a set of pipes on her. she was born in the wrong time, certainly an old soul. love her music. and adele. i got on that band wagon too--even though they played the hell out of that one song for way too long. lmfao? i cannot stand. i swear when i saw them on dick's rockin' new year's eve (and how sad is that that he died?) i thought it was a spoof...no clue they were a real band.

books--stephen king is back on track and i loved 11/23/63. i also read the hunger games trio. i will try not to spoil it for those of you who've not read them--but, while many people i talked to where not happy w/ the ending, i was. no, it was not a shiney happy, tied w/ a ribbon ending, but it was the right ending for the story. the movie really disappointed me. i just read jodi picoult's house rules. it's about a single mom w/ two teen sons, one has asperger's. i am curious as to whether her portrayal of a person w/ asperger's is correct. it was very moving and really opened my eyes to what parents of children w/ autism go through--well, you know, as much as a piece of fiction can open your eyes. i am on the lookout for something new to read.

movies--extremely loud and incredibly close. i loved just about everything about this movie. i love the characters and the actors who portrayed them. i love the dialogue and the story and how the story unfolds. yes, it is heartbreaking, but, there is also good to it. the rum diaries--though johnny is in it and i am increasingly obsessed with him (more on that later) i didn't love that movie. it might be because while the girl and i were watching it we were interrupted w/ a mouse siting. the first mouse we have ever had in the house. that distracted me and i couldn't focus on the movie.

stuff--that word game (words w/ friends) and pinterest. holy mother of god those things entertain the shit out of me. when i am beyond mind numbed at work--i like shit on pinterest. i have a johnny board. that man is in my face every damn day--he is fucking gorgeous.

food--since starting the job (it's been almost a year!) i have gained 20 pounds! 20 fucking pounds. why? because i am sitting on my ass all day. it's getting bad and i need to do something. i need to MOVE my body. i need to quit eating!

tv--my new fave? walking dead. do you watch it? i want to cunt punch lori, put a leash on carl, and screw daryl : ) lol. i watched one episode of madmen. i will probably watch it again, but seriously, though i KNOW it is because the time frame it's set in, i can't get passed the sexism.

what music/movies/books have got you all hot and bothered lately?

(and where's the damn spell check on this new blogger layout??)

you know it's been a long time since you accessed your blog account when you have to reset the password (after several failed attempts at remembering what it was). i have been waffling for months now about the blog--thinking perhaps it's just time to face the fact that i don't have time for it, don't need it, and should delete it. nothing has really changed--my time is sucked up by working and being a mom. but, i am in a perpetual state of a creative void and for now it feels like the only outlet i might have is this blog. i doubt i have readers left, although some of you tell me you drop in once in awhile to see if i've posted. you are more than kind. if i do i guess i owe you a little bit of an update on life huh? these days my life is about going to work (and while i am beyond grateful about having a job--it is mind numbing. i didn't think i'd miss writing for a living, and even though the word writer is in my title, it is a misnomer. i am a proof reader/copy-and-paster/grammar nazi) and shuttling the kids around. the boy is still oh so enamored with karate, and attends classes five days a week. the girl--who is doing so well in high school that it's hard to believe it was just last year that middle school created so much strife in her life--has a part in the school play. my little introvert is a theater geek--and i say that with respect, because that's what they call themselves. rehearsals every night for months now--the play is at the end of this month. the hubs started a new job in january. it is not a job he loves, but, he did it for the money, and to escape the hell-hole he was in. we have two years of my being unemployed to make up for--with a kid going off to college in three years and the next one a couple of years after that. there is lost ground to be regained--so--we are both in jobs that do not trick our triggers. ***post writing got sidetracked last night as i had to take the hubs to the ER. he was investigating why the motor in the fountain on the patio wasn't working right when he dropped the top part, and, rather than have it fall on the ground and break he caught it with his foot. i was certain he was going to lose the toenail (and still might) and possibly have a broken toe. we couldn't get the bleeding to stop, so off we went to the new hospital in town. they gave him numbing shots in his toe (i think i would have passed out if it were me getting the shots) and then they drilled holes in the nail to release the blood trapped underneath. not fun. dude thought he was going to get up at 3:45am as usual (yes, that's when he gets up now) and go to work. i texted his boss that he wouldn't be in today. i can't make any promises--i want to get back to writing...NEED to get back to writing. we'll see how this works.

:::tap tap tap:::: anyone still out there?

gah, you go away from your blog for about three months and blogger goes and changes its format! sheesh. i got a fancy new fangled phone at work and i thought that would make me MORE socail media savvy and get back to being on top of things, but obviously that didn't work. our lives are much busier now. i blogged on a regular basis when i was out of work because i had....TIME. before that, when i was employed, i could blog from work or at home in the evenings because i had....TIME. that was pre-karate, pre-high school, pre-soccer. life got full. i'm not complaining. i have so much to be grateful for. so, what's happened since september? i finally got busy at work and six+ months into this gig i like it. i do miss the creativity that i once had in previous jobs, but everything else is good. i get pissed off when people don't meet my deadlines--and now, rather than being an editor that had power over the people writing for me, i have none and that frustrates the hell out of me. but, all in all, it's not a bad gig. the girl is doing much better in high school (socially) than she did in middle school. she still struggles w/ making new friends, but, she doesn't feel like the only brainiac on the planet and is hanging out w/ different kids now. the boy is doing well in middle school and he is now a junior black belt in karate : ) that test involved a family trip out of town for a long weekend, which was pretty fun. we are going to OK to visit the hubs' dad (and his wife, the hubs' aunt) for christmas. the boy is beyond excited about this; the girl could care less; the hubs is happy to be seeing his dad but anxious about spending that much time w/ him and his wife in his mom's house; i think it's a good thing we're going because the hubs needs to see his dad, but i am not over the moon about being away from home for christmas--the first time we've done so in 14 years. i have taken for granted all of the holiday things we do, all of our quirks and traditions and a little part of me is sad that we'll miss that. but, the part that is happy for the hubs to see his dad and my son to see his grandpa is much bigger and outweighs that little sadness. the girl is taking driver's ed. she's in her second week of the classroom portion. it could be a few months before she gets to the actual driving part of it. can i tell you that this freaks me the hell out? the hubs actually had me try to bribe her into not taking it. laptop? $500? nope--she declined both and is taking the class. i know this is part of growing up and i am excited for her. but to me it just means all of those things that happen to your kids before they leave you are speeding up exponentially. those are the big things that come to the top of my mind when i think about the last three months. there have been little things--i made the hubs get rid of his caddy and get a newer car (too many miles, too much work needing done on the caddy); we had a scare w/ the black lab and had to take her to the emergency vet (she's ok now); i went to lunch w/ my mom and she proceeded to tell me she wanted to be closer and happy (like one lunch can erase years of neglect--needless to say i haven't heard from her much since then); the hubs and i celebrated 19 years of wedded bliss (of course we were out of town for the boy's karate test at the time, but still); we visited philadelphia (karate test weekend); i read the help and the latest sookie stackhouse book; we saw breaking dawn (i'm still team jacob); we went black friday shopping (that night, not in the morning) and i was overwhelmed w/ what people will go through to get STUFF. i will try to start reading blogs again and writing here again. i hope you all didn't give up on me completely. i do try to keep up w/ those of you who are on face libre ; )

what to do what to do

the girl has been telling us about some troubling things going on with her friends lately.

first, did you know being bi or gay is the new in thing? well, i didn't. several of the girl's girlfriends say they are bi or lesbian...not one, not two...several. one of the girls has dated boys and girls (she is 14) and last year sort of hit on the girl. the girl admits she doesn't care if they are or aren't but that their talk about kissing girls or detailed talks about it make her uncomfortable and when she says something they make fun of her for being "christian" or a prude. granted, i think a lot of this is just talk--the girls think they're being cool or rebellious or on the cutting edge--and honestly i don't care if they're gay or not. but, it makes me curious that so many of the girls are talking about it. kinda puts me in mind of those teen pregnancy packs that were going around. did i miss something? is this a trend i didn't know about??

second, the girl has another friend who is posting all sorts of freaky stuff on her facebook page. writing and posting dark poems, claiming she's a cutter, that she's suicidal, taking all these dark pictures of herself and posting them online. i don't know her parents. my girl confronted her about it and the girl acted like she had no idea what she was talking about. the girl says she acts perfectly normal at school, is happy, has friends, etc. this particular girl has had issues in the past--in 7th grade she accused my daughter of bullying her, going so far as to make anonymous phone calls to the bully hotline. it was a strange situation. after that she started following my girl around like a puppy dog and now she's acting like this. again--i don't know if this is serious or just for show.

do i get involved? do i call her parents, whom i don't know, and tell them they need to look at their daughter's fb page?

and w/ the bi/gay thing--i know one of the girls parents fairly well (we don't hang out or anything but we run into each other all the time because of our daughters). i don't know if they know what's going on w/ their kid.

i'm hesitant to do anything because for now my girl talks to us and tells us everything. i worry that if i start talking to parents or getting involved she won't trust us and tell us things we need to know about herself.

what would you do?

if i only had the nerve

in my head i am a balls out kind of person. i vent. i go off. i call people out on their totally fucktardiness. i am a badass mofo. in my head. in person i nod politely or hold my tongue (except of course w/ my family). maybe i should clarify...

yes for the love of god i do realize that changes on facebook are not the fucking end of the world, but, if i want to get on there and vent because they have made that thing such a fucking chore to use i don't even know why i bother, then don't write some holier than though post about how it's free and i'm not required to use it...blah blah blah. shut the fuck up. instead of writing that comment on fb i am sharing it w/ you here.

my sister has been posting that her middle child, the boy who creates havoc w/ all of the kids whenever we all get together, says he is getting picked on at school and she is fuming mad at the principal. my bro politely commented that his son said the same thing before and in the end they found out he was actually the one causing the problems. my sister apparently is one of those parents who thinks their kid can do no wrong. oy fucking vey. and after reading all of her other posts i'm quite sure her fucking house must be sparkling clean because that is all she talks about. or that someone is sick. or that she's just bought the kids some new cloths. i know i know--it's a free country, people can post whatever they like. but really? shut the fuck up already.

i am getting more into the rhythm of my workplace now and have discovered that i seriously fucking want to get one of those t-shirts that say...just because you waited until the very last minute to fucking get something done (even though i might have been prodding you about it for weeks) doesn't mean it is now my burden at the 11th hour. and while we're at it--omg...please, please please stop using the word ubiquitous. part of me thinks you are being witty by planting it in every paragraph of your work, but then i realize you aren't and it just makes me want to scream. also? can we just teach a class on marketing 101 to the whole fucking company? instead of saying this 12 times today i held myself in check, went out for a smoke, and then spewed all of this stupidity to the hubs on the phone as i was driving home.

and...man oh man. i am not a politically minded person by any means. while the hubs is a republican, i consider myself an independent, mainly because i can lean both ways depending on the issue. in a nutshell--i don't think the government has a right to tell me, if i make an ass load of money, that i should have to pay more in taxes because i made more money. flat tax across the board. i don't think the government should preclude people of any sex from getting married. i don't think they should tell churches what they can or can't do (not because i don't believe it in but i believe in the government staying out of the church's business). why should any one else care if two men or two women want to get married? are they marrying YOU? then get your fucking nose out of their business.