i'm not quite sure why i'm back here writing. i'm pretty sure when you quit posting posts, people quit reading and then you're just writing to write. but, i think that's what i need right now. i am desperate for a creative outlet, because i'm certainly not getting it from my job. i have always thought i had a novel inside me, who am i kidding, doesn't everyone have that thought? but to be honest, i haven't the slightest fucking clue what to write about. no idea how to get started.
writing here is easy because i am anonymous (well, you know, to those of you i didn't know before blogging and to those of you i haven't yet become friends with in the real online world). i can let my hair down and say whatever i want to and not fear the consequences.
whenever any one talks about writing, the rule is--write what you know. this terrifies me because when i think about writing what i know--it is of a fucked up childhood and crazy parents.
maybe i just need to write that and get THAT out of my system and see if there's anything else? i have these daydreams where i write that story and somehow manage to prevent people from knowing just how true it is. i am able to write it and convince the world that it is fiction.
we are coming into fall and that makes me happy. you would think that i should be the happiest person around town, given the fact that i've had a vacation of a lifetime this summer and a family beach trip to boot. seriously, when i think about it i'm an ungrateful bitch because i'm not still riding on a high after those trips.
i am addicted to pinterest. aren't we all? but, as i sit there, pinning away (or liking away because i'm convinced if i just like things at work nobody will know how much i'm actually on there) i sometimes come across nuggets of thought that linger, like lint in a belly button. this one in particular stays with me--i am paraphrasing, but essentially it says we all go around comparing our backstage moments to everyone else's best performance. we look around and see the side of people's lives they want us to see, and compare that shiny happy world to the reality of our own. a reality complete with messy houses and piles of laundry and broken dishwashers and strained relationships. and when you compare that to anything else, you are bound to fall short.
so, perhaps i will get back to blogging here, i can't say for sure. i look at the links over there and am surprised that i'm not the only one who's fallen off the blogging train.