Wednesday, December 31, 2008

i'm famous!

ok, not really, but i have been interviewed. hotch, over at the potchery got interviewed and then had to interview someone and of course i raised my hand. this is a first for me, being interviewed. i've interviewed lots and lots of people (it's what i do for a living) and have rarely really been interviewed myself. so, here goes.

1. If you HAD to go away for 3 days with just the hubs (Mary Poppins is available btw), where would you go? What types of things would do you?

well, if we had a transporter like on star trek, we'd go to germany, back to where we began. i'd love to go for christmas but of course wouldn't be away from the kids, so we'd go for oktoberfest instead : ) we spend a day drinking german beer and cavorting in munich at the fest then we'd head to nuremberg, where we lived. we'd visit what's left of the old haunts, tripping down memory lane. it would be bittersweet because i know it's changed drastically, but we'd have a great time. we'd go to downtown nuremberg, ride the strauss and ubahn and maybe we'd stay in a hotel downtown and just walk around, taking in the sights and smells and sounds.

if we didn't have a transporter and had to get there on our own we'd go to myrtle beach, where we went for our honeymoon. we'd stay at the caribbean hotel, they have a kick ass in-ground hot tub there, and eat at our favorite german restaurant and maybe i'd get wild and get a second tattoo : )

2. How are evenings (after work until bed) spent at your house?
they are frazzled. we come home, throw something together for dinner and the hubs and i catch up on each other's days while the kids are chilling out waiting to eat. after dinner it's homework. usually the girl gets hers done at daycare but the boy typically has a lot and needs help. if the hubs is helping him w/ his math i might blog or pick up or throw a load of laundry in. after homework and the kids get their baths we watch a little tv and they go to bed at 9pm. sometimes we mix up this routine and the hubs and i come home and lock ourselves in the bedroom before dinner. sometimes we have errands to run and mix that in w/ eating dinner out.

3. Is there any one moment in your life that you can pinpoint where you really wish you had made a different choice? Said different words? Gone a different way? Tell me about it.

believe it or not i've often thought about this. there are lots of things i wish i wouldn't have said, most of them were hateful things i said to the hubs. we fought A LOT for about the first 10 years we were married. i said a lot of mean, hurtful things. and, before we ever got married, man, i was such a bitch to him so many times. i sometimes regret that i got my tubes tied after the boy was born, but then reality hits and i realize two kids really is enough and our lives would be much different w/ three. i guess the bottom line is of course there are things i wish i wouldn't have said, and there are times that i wish i wouldn't have said yes, but all of those things are what makes me who and where i am today and honestly, i wouldn't have it any other way. the hubs has said before that he thought he'd be my second husband, but i knew, 20 years ago, that he would be in my life, be a focal point in my life, no matter what.

4. Do you like butt sex? HA HA HA. Just kidding. That was just to make you laugh. Knowing what you know now, would you choose the same career? If not, what would you choose?

funny you should mention the back door--ha. well, i will say that i have tried and enjoyed it but as the hubs would say it is really isn't even on the menu because it's been eons since i've done it. the thought of it makes me nervous and it's one of those things that i need a lot, i mean a lot of building up to and being stoned doesn't hurt. ha, that was just to make you laugh ; ) i would not choose the same career at all. i'm an editor for a magazine. writing like that has killed my creativity. i've always loved writing and reading and being in publishing has zapped my mojo for anything creative. i should have been a kindergarten teacher or an art teacher. i think i'd really get off on either of those things. and then my writing mojo would be in tact and i could write a kick ass, life changing novel.

5. What do you wish for ini 2009?

for 2009 i wish that we'd keep on our financial path, keep building for the future (college and retirement) and take more trips. more than anything i want to give my kids memories that will make them look back and think they had a great childhood and have fun memories of us, each other and the things we do. i also wish that if i do leave this job that the next job i get will be "the one." i also wish i could meet some of my bloggy friends : ) and see train in concert again, and see prince in concert (i've never seen him).

ok, so if you want to be interviewed, email me or leave me a comment and i'll totally do you : ) he he, i said do you.

no promises

i'm not really one to decry w/ great flair and obviousness my resolutions though last year around this time i posted this gawd-awful thing that's been an albatross around my blog's neck. i've commented on my success/failure for each one.

2008 to do
read more books (at least one per month) i did read more but not one a month
weight--lose one size i did lose some weight but think i gained it back
learn to cook one thing really well fail---i don't think i learned to cook anything new; i made new cookies at christmas but would not say i did that really well
commit to a hair color * DONE this was a stupid to do list item because i know and i know that i will never let my hair revert to its natural color (brown) because i do not like me as a brunette; i've only ever been a brunette by mistake or not enough money to remain blondish
quit smoking no, once again, i haven't accomplished this. the only time it's easy for me to do this is when i'm pregnant and that AIN'T happening.
the hubs * this is ongoing well, i think i've done a pretty good job w/ this if i do say so myself.
figure out how to get music on the Girl's MP3 player she got for Christmas (in 2006)* don't have to do this now cos houdini dog ate it this is a total success because the girl (and everyone in the house) got new mp3 players and i am now adept at loading them and using them.
develop all film and put all pictures in albums i did get SOME film developed and put in an album, but not all. good lord i have probably 20 rolls of unidentified film and about 10 disposable cameras.

so, i guess this brings me to what would i put on the list for 2009 huh? well. hmmm. i don't think i'm making any resolutions this year. i think i set myself up for failure doing that. we all know i am the world's biggest procrastinator--like i'd be president of the world procrastinator's society...ya know, if we ever got around to forming one.

i think that i've done a lot of growing this year and not all of it was intentional. i really do think that age and your experiences and just life in general conspire to make you smarter sometimes. looking back at my life even 5 years ago i think i'm not as stressed out and angry as i used to be.

i think my relationship with the hubs has gotten even better. i have probably blogged this every year but we really did have rough times. really rough. for years. and these last several years have been great and it feels like everything just keeps getting better there.

with my kids? god, it's bittersweet. i miss the baby/toddler years so much sometimes that it breaks my heart. but then the girl and i will be walking side by side and she'll put her arm around me and she's almost as tall as me and it just melts me. (so hard to write nice stuff about them as they sit in the den bitching about zelda on wii.) or the boy will matter-of-factly blurt out the funniest line ever and just keep rolling. (aside--the hubs is, for some reason i can't fathom, now obsessed w/ finding, purchasing and wearing old man coveralls, you know, like mechanics or farmers or whatever wear? yes. his grandfather used to wear them. so we've been on a hunt for them locally. we were talking about it the other day and the kids are as against him wearing these things out in public, if he ever gets them, as i am. the boy said if the hubs gets them and wears them in the yard the boy won't come outside. he also said, maybe you can find a pair at geezer's r us! ha, priceless.)

i don't know what my resolutions would be this time around. i always want to be a better person, better wife, mom, friend....and this year maybe (ew it makes me throw up a little in my mouth, really to even type this) even a better sister and daughter. that makes me so uncomfortable. that implies that i will forge relationships w/ my sister and mother. i don't actually know what that means.

i'm not making any promises....i just want to be better.



Monday, December 29, 2008

girly mush crap

so, i've been posting for about 3 years now and just figured out that i've made 816 posts. the first couple of years, well, actually until about this year, were different. i just wrote and a few people read me. i was not part of the blogging community. i read other blogs now and then but never commented. this year i joined the blogging community and i'm so glad i did.

i love, love, love my irl friends and family who read this. this post is in no way meant to take away from them. there are several of my very good friends (and sil you are included in that) who read this (i think) regularly and i feel on some level it has brought us closer together. not because i've said anything here or exposed a side of me that they didn't already know, but because maybe i don't get to see them every day and maybe we don't talk on the phone much (i'm not a big phone person). and a few of them have been readers since the first year. and whether here or irl (like this is fake? but you know what i mean) i know they are there for me.

but, i have met some really cool friends through blogs. i love reading them and learning about their families and their good times and bad. i didn't realize how connected i felt toward them--hotch, astarte, kristin, shere--until the holidays and everyone got busy doing the holiday thing (as they should and as did i) and i wasn't connected to them. i was so happy when they each started posting again and i can't tell you how many times i read your posts and think, omg, i could have written that. whether it's an issue you have w/ your family or pajama bottoms or frustrations over kids or life or work or whatever.

fuck i'm sounding like a damn hallmark card. so, just know that i like you, i really like you : )

sheesh, what a mush ball.

damn vampires; coloring books and shaking my head

***if you aren't or haven't read the twilight series skip to the next graph. i grudgingly jumped on this reading band wagon cos the girl was obsessed and wanted me to read them. i finished book three last night and the girl and i are at odds. she is in love w/ the vampire, edward. initially, after the first book i was totally team edward too, but have since fallen out of lust with the robert pattison actor, he has a vacant look in his eyes and i don't like vacant. plus, after further reading i'm totally over his character. i realize these books are not award winning reads, i get that. but these characters are starting to piss me off. and not just because it has taken them four books to have sex, cos they are written for teens so that's ok, and they talk about waiting to get married and all that stuff you want (as a parent) but as a teen once and as a pretend adult now i know that's not reality. i irritated the girl because i think the heroine, bella, who is such a whiny ass i'd like to slap her, get over yourself already, should be w/ her friend/werewolf jacob instead of the vampire edward. ok, sorry, i know lots of people think these books are crap but i had to get that off my chest.

***i previously posted about the lack of coloring books and received a few suggestions on where to find them. i am anal, really anal, about my crayons and coloring books. i have seen some of the geometric coloring books kristin mentioned. they are cool. at first glance (aside from the fact that the ones i saw in the store were almost $7). but they're printed on the wrong kind of paper. the paper is white and too slick. i have a floral coloring book i got from ben franklin's and it too is on this paper. it has to be rough, beige paper to be the correct coloring book for me; sort of like news print w/ more weight and bite. i don't know paper, i just know it when i see it. and the coloring book cannot contain word searches or mazes or connect the dots crap. that is not a coloring book it's a puzzle book. and i don't like characters. my gawd i hate the princess or disney books. hurl. there used to be this awesome, fucking awesome coloring book, twas the night before christmas, and we got it almost every year around the holidays and i've had it as an adult and i can't find it anymore. i know, i have a serious screw loose for being so particular about coloring books. and it can only be crayola crayons. srsly, don't ever think of giving me that rose art crap.

****i feel family drama coming on. today the hubs mentioned that he foresees a lot of changes coming in my family this year. first, my grandma. not to be morbid, but i will not be surprised (and yes i will be sad) if she dies before the end of next year. my parents. oy vey i've so tried to stay out of their shit for such a long time. it's a defense mechanism really. the less i know about what is going on in their lives the happier i can be. i think i made a mistake taking my mom shopping w/ me the other day. for years i have held them at arms length. seeing them on family birthdays, every other month or so for all family get togethers, that type of thing. but i think i opened up a door i didn't mean to w/ the one-on-one shopping. crap. my dad has some medical issue going on. i half listened when she told us about it at thanksgiving. there always seems to be something going on with him. anywhoo--whatever this is requires medicine and one of the symptoms is lack of energy. this simply allows him to validate the fact that he's a lazy piece of shit that hasn't done much of anything other than work and complain for the last decade or more. oh, and drink. he does that too. so the latest drama is that my mom is going out of town by herself (they were supposed to go together) tomorrow. as she was telling me this on the phone today she said, i'll have my cell phone w/ me if you need me, or, if you just want to call me to say i love you. wtf? what the hell do i do w/ that? one side of me is screaming---bitch---you are so experiencing your karma right now. it is payback. you are reaping what you sowed. you are getting your just desserts. and part of me is saying, you know, you going to hell for being such a shitty daughter. but really, i cannot submerse myself in their issues. i cannot listen to either one of their sides or step in now and become friends w/ either one of them. i cannot. i will not.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

randamnness

just some random things spewing from my brain that might make you say damn.

  • i'm such a non-jewelry wearer (aside from earrings) that i take my rings off as soon as i come home and put them on a ring holder on the kitchen window sill. i think it's because i wash my hands so much and when i do they try to slip off. this includes my wedding rings. sometimes on the weekends i forget to put them on and then i'm out and about w/ the kids w/out my rings on and i wonder if people think i'm a single mom or if i'm w/ the hubs w/out them i wonder if people think we're not married.
  • the hubs has an obsession w/ qvc and hsn.
  • have you ever truly been happy w/ your vacuum or mop? these are two household things that i'm never satisfied w/ their performance. i might like a new one for a week or two then i discover that they totally suck.
  • when i was in high school one of my friends and i walked several blocks to a pay phone to call a recording of billy idol. remember white wedding? yeah that guy. we squealed like silly girls are wont to do. i don't really care anything about billy idol now.
  • i almost hate to write this one cos the hubs will take it as the go-ahead to get another dog, but, yesterday at my aunt's house i saw the type of dog i want some day. it was a little lhasapoo or some such mix. omg. the dog was too damn cute for its own good. cuddly, small, lap sized. sooo very cute. but seriously, i don't want another animal right now.
  • i am supremely irritated by the lack of good coloring books on the market. i got new crayons for christmas and have been looking for a good coloring book everywhere we go. i don't want a damn cars, princess, or spongebob coloring book. i want just a regular coloring book, no puzzles, no games, no stickers, no characters. are there no good coloring books left in the world? sheesh.
  • do you ever read other people's blogs and wonder about the relationships they have w/ other bloggers? i do. i'm not like this in person really, but in blogville i'm totally like that nosey neighbor woman on bewitched, gladys.
  • for those of you who post pics of yourself and/or your kids--i have a question. i love seeing them, but am ultra paranoid about posting pics of my family on the web. how did you get over that?
  • why do you think women need more foreplay than men?

new poll and craziness

so i got depressed w/ the poll about snow because it seems that only two people were expecting or had some. alas, north carolina is overcast and gloomy, but no damn snow.

instead i put up a more exciting poll : ) be brave, cast your vote.

and on the craziness? yeah. remember i mentioned i got a new tree on sale after christmas? 65$ for a prelit (white lights) slim tree. well we got a wreath and a few other decorations as well. what did we do yesterday? the hubs put up the new outdoor decor and last night we put up the new tree, decorated it and took down the old one. i know. i know. you don't have to tell me it was crazy. but, we're having a party on friday and we wanted to put the new stuff up. i'll snap a pic of the new tree and post it later.

and also? last night we finished season four of lost and i am no more sure of what the hell is going on than i was before. the writers for that show are fucking brilliant. i can't figure anything out and it drives me crazy. the hubs casually said, what if they decide to stop after season 5 instead of going all the way like they've planned. i can only imagine that there would be a huge population of pissed off, frustrated people if they pulled the plug. i need answers. i need resolutions.

it's sunday and we're looking at a whole week off. it's daunting. there are house projects the hubs and i want to get done, but i also don't want to spend the whole week working. of course it's almost 2 pm and we're all still in our pajamas : )

80 years

yesterday my aunt threw an 80th birthday party for my grandma. i'm really not sure i want to live to be 80, especially since she's been w/out my grandpa for almost 24 yrs and she's frail and senile and a hermit. well, honestly she's always been a hermit, always, and it was my paw-paw who was the out going, fun, sociable one. this is incredibly awful to say, but my favorite grandparents (my maternal gma and paternal paw-paw) are dead. the living ones never really developed much of a relationship w/ me, though my gma goes on and on and on about a road trip we took when i was in college.

anywho---so, the party. it was all family because despite the fact that she's lived down her for about 20 years, aside from her hair dresser, she has no connections. i'm not kidding. she is a hermit. here is the cast of characters (yes, i'm being a snarky bitch but it's my blog): my aunt and uncle (dad's sister) who, at one time i totally hated, they were both drunks, serious drunks, have split up numerous times, but, basically in the last 20 yrs they've held their shit together and despite their oldest son, have turned their lives around. plus, ya know, they turned their garage into a house for the gma. their kids--the oldest is going on 35. omfg. i don't even know where to start w/ this one. it's mean, but i really don't think anything good has ever come from this person. he's always been bad news. he's been in prison (for drugs or dui or bad checks or stealing money from our gma, take your pick) and now works...yes...it's true...he works for the traveling carnivals : ) bwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaahhaaaa. how many people can REALLY say their relatives are carnies? me : ) he. so, he's 35, works 7 months out of the year and the other 5? who knows. my aunt and uncle will only let them stay w/ them for short periods of time (can't say as i blame them) and i think on one of his hiatus's he found a girl, knocked her up and now has a baby. well, my aunt's not convinced it's his, but he claims it. their other son is 30 and has downs and is sometimes the happiest person in the family. he's always loving and excited to see us.

then there's my sister and jose. ok, so it's been several family events now people and still, i haven't heard him speak. i know he understands what he hears because he does laugh at the appropriate times and seems to be listening. all i've heard from his mouth are yes and no. when my sister talks to him she speaks spanish. i just don't get it. it's incredibly hard to get to know someone and give them the benefit of the doubt when they don't speak or respond when trying to be engaged in convo. i still think he's much older than she told us, again, not that it matters but the problem would be why the lie. and it still creeps me out that my neice and nephew call him daddy when he's been part of their lives for maybe 6 months.

you know the rest of the players, my folks, my bro and gameboy (sil was home w/ a sick puddin) my sister's kids and then my crew. my grandma seemed...i guess she was happy. it's hard to tell these days. she's never been emotional or sociable. i did almost pee my pants and thought, omfg what a redneck moment, when she tried to light her cigarette off the cake. nice.

the ex-con cousin spent the evening cornering the hubs and trying to talk him about carnies and getting together w/ us while he's in town (NOT going to happen; i don't even want him knowing where i live) and telling the hubs how he hates the family. hmmm....yeah, feeling's pretty much mutual douchecanoe.

if i step back and look at this motley crew it's disappointing and embarrassing.

after about an hour gma had had enough noise and kids and pretty much tried to duck back into her part of the house w/out a word.

i'm fairly certain my aunt (though she's never said so) thinks we suck for not being more involved w/ my grandma. but, this is an issue i have w/ my parents and other family members as well. if, growing up, certain adults are ambivalent towards you or only marginally interested in your life or make minimal effort towards you ever, why should you be expected to fall all over them showering them w/ love an attention trying to pretend there's a relationship there when there really isn't, just because they're old?

Saturday, December 27, 2008

jasper wreaks havoc and mary poppins babysits

the hubs loves, loves napping in his recliner, but it's something he doesn't often get to do. he got a heated blanket for christmas to take his napping enjoyment up a level. he did get a cozy heated nap in on christmas day, but had to work yesterday.

so, at some point last night (after he'd already taken care of his marital duties) he announced he was going to camp out. huh? yeah, he was going to sleep in his heated nest for the night. though i don't like sleeping w/out him i'd already gotten mine and was pretty tired so we went our separate ways.

at some point he ended up in bed w/ me and this morning i got the back story. once we he got up in the middle of the night jasper, the hellion kittie, claimed the recliner. it should be noted that both cats are blanket whores and love cuddling up w/ anyone who's using one, but they are especially enamored of this heated blanket. so the hubs picked jasper up and tucked him back in the recliner w/ him, only to have jasper attack his feet minutes later. repeatedly. the hubs got up, moved to the couch and then jasper settled into the recliner to sleep. the hubs tried again, only to be attacked once more. that's when he came to bed and jasper won the recliner. ha.

****
i have mentioned before that we've never had a baby sitter. the only people who've watched my kids are my bro/sil and, begrudgingly my parents. despite my lack of respect for my folks' parenting skills sometimes you just need a night out and what harm can they do in one night right? so last night i had a dream that the hubs and i were getting ready to go out on a date. the kids were younger, the girl was about 5 and the boy 2. i went in to their room, impatient for the baby sitter to arrive, so i started cleaning bird poop off their window ledge (uh, we had watched mike rowe, dirty jobs, last night and that was one of his jobs) when here comes mary poppins, floating up to their window w/ her umbrella. i was all like, where have you been you're late? and then she came in and i woke up. weird huh?

Friday, December 26, 2008

i want to move

here

holiday wrap up

tuesday:

my goal was to finish last minute shopping (stockings), grocery store and clean the house. done. i even invited my mom to go shopping w/ me. i know, i don't know what came over me either. but it was perfectly nice.

tuesday night we went to the festival of lights. seriously awesome and we do this most every year. however, we've never waited until this late in the year to go and we won't wait this late again. it took us (once we got there) about 3 hours. way too long in the car. but, i love the lights and it's always fun to see if they've added anything new. for light lovers i really would rate this a 10.

christmas eve:
the hubs had to work a few hours in the morning, then he came home and prepared the turkey for the infrared cooker. i have to say, that thing is awesome. the bird is moist, cooks faster, and frees up the oven. the family was coming around 2pm so i did some last minute prepping, baked some more cookies, the hubs baked a cake, i made some more chocolate covered pretzels and we were ready.

i have to say i was quite proud of the boy and girl. they knew the adults (meaning me and my sibs and our spouses) were not gifting each other this year. the girl knitted scarves for all the adults and the boy made each adult a poster. on the giant poster board paper. he tried to do each poster w/ things he knew that person liked or described them. for example on my sil's he put a teddy bear (she collects them) and chocolate chip cookies; on the bro's he had a computer w/ an error on the screen (he's an IT guy) and a football. then, for those he didn't know as well it was generic, but still nice. flowers on the sister's and then for her hubs, jose, a sombrero and chili peppers. when i first saw it, before everyone got here, i panicked. omg. he'll be offended. but, everyone thought it was cute and all the adults made the appropriate ooohing and awwing and it was good.

after everyone left we watched the little drummer boy (the hubs' fave holiday movie) and the kids opened what apparently has unintentionally become their traditional christmas eve gifts from us--pajamas and a book : ) we've done this for a couple of years so it is now expected.

the kids went to bed and we waited for them to go to sleep to do all the santa stuff. this is the first year i wrapped all of their santa gifts ahead of time (usually the hubs and i do this together after the kids are asleep) and it made things a lot easier. we stuffed stockings and watched a little tv and went to bed.

christmas day:
at FOUR IN THE MORNING the kids are at my bedside w/ a tray of coffee. FOUR AM. i expected early because the boy still believes in santa, but not 4 a.m. early. the girl apologized. i later got the back story from her. the boy woke her up at 2 a.m. and they came out and looked at the loot and debated about what was in each package and looked at their stockings and then watched tv until the girl said she couldn't delay the boy any longer. that's when she made coffee and woke us up.

they opened their presents and then left the room so we could hide the pickle ornament on the tree. (another tradition). whichever kid finds the pickle gets a little present. typically the pickle present has been a movie or something for both of the kids. this time the hubs was devious. their "big" present was the pickle present. so, when the girl found the pickle and got her video camera the boy was all like, wtf? that's an awesome pickle present. then i pulled out his gift (digital camera) and all was right w/ the world. i did not realize the down sides to kids having tech stuff. first, i had to figure out how to work each thing to show them (yeah, they're about as good at reading manuals as i am). second, they don't care what you look like or what you are doing, you are fair game to be photographed or videotaped. nice.

the hubs and i opened our gifts to each other and from the kids and then high-tailed it back to bed. i really was feeling queasy from being up so early. the second time we got up we piddled around w/ our gifts; the girl and i watched mama mia (i got it for christmas) and the boy and hubs promptly fell asleep. we woke up, i made a ham, we ate, lounged, i napped, lounged some more then it was bedtime. we had a great, lazy christmas day and i think everyone was pretty happy.

today the hubs is working, though hopefully getting off early. the kids and i went out shopping a little. i finally, after about 6 years of saying i would, bought a new tree on sale after christmas.

tomorrow we're going to my aunt's for a surprise 80th bday for my grandma and then it's a week off for the kids, the hubs and me. whoot whoot.

and what did i get for christmas you ask? : ) well, the hubs and i set a limit on what we are allowed to spend on each other and i actually like it this way. i'm not an extravagant gift person, meaning i'm not one of those women who wants bling or something chic, etc. the hubs puts a lot of thought into my gifts. this year he actually finished his shopping before me, which is a record. he got me my usual (which i have to have or christmas just isn't right for me--crayons (120 pack) coloring book, slippers and pjs) plus a stephen king book, mama mia dvd and cd soundtrack, a marshall shirt (my alma mater--which i have nothing from; my bro, who didn't even fucking go there has more paraphernalia than i do; my mom got him a freaking marshall book bag for christmas) and paul thompson's solo cd, which he had to order because he couldn't find it in any of our stores. it's not here yet, but it will be any day. the girl got me flavored coffees and the boy got me a heart-shaped pin : )

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas

"This is my wish for you: peace of mind, prosperity through the year, happiness that multiplies, health for you and yours, fun around every corner, energy to chase your dreams, joy to fill your holidays!"-- D.M. Dellinger

the posts might be few and my comments on your blogs even fewer, but i'll catch up after christmas : )

and, since pretty much no one is a junk sniffer i added another poll.

merry christmas!
OXOXOX

Sunday, December 21, 2008

good stuff and bad stuff

bad stuff----
we had dinner at my SIL's parent's house last night (no, that's not the bad thing, it was actually really nice) but it's the first time we'd seen my bro/SIL/gameboy and puddin' in awhile. like maybe since the weekend after thanksgiving when they came over. i went to hold puddin' (she's 8 months now!) and she flat out bawled when i picked her up. cried. real tears. screamed even. omg it broke my heart. seriously, it took her a long, long time to let me even look at her w/out crying. eventually i got to hold her and got a smile or two out of her, but, nevertheless, i am heartbroken. put me in the shitty aunt category because obviously i haven't seen her enough and she totally forgot who i was and is scared of me now.

i have a bad feeling a sinus infection is trying to take over my body right before christmas. it's been trying to knock down my defenses today. fucker. i hate sinus infections. i get them bad. like i'd rather be dead bad. i've started myself on a heavy dose of everything i have in the house. i hope to scare it the hell off before it settles in. fucker.

last sunday when the girl and i were baking cookies i burned my right wrist taking a batch out of the oven. it hurt a little, but i didn't think it was bad. the next few days i had a spot the size of a quarter on my wrist, but it didn't really hurt. later in the week it started hurting and a layer of skin has since been shed. now i have this nasty, gooey looking quarter size red splotch on my wrist--gross. it looks hideous. i tried to take a picture to share w/ you, but it wouldn't even allow itself to be photographed it was so heinous (no offense to the actual heinous).

good stuff--
last night we went to dinner at my SIL's parent's house. the hubs is incredibly jealous that my brother ended up w/ better in-laws. not only is the SIL's mom a better cook, but their house was clean, they were sociable and friendly, welcoming and it was just a nice evening (aside from me being a shitty aunt and all).

today the hubs and the boy went to the movies while the girl and i did some christmas shopping. the boy is at the age (9) where he likes doing "guy things" w/ the hubs. they went to see the tale of despereaux, which the boy has been begging to see and wants santa to bring him the book for christmas.

i like when one of the kids (the boy in this instance) asks, what's for dinner, and my response gets a YES!!!! (we're having spaghetti).

i have one day of work (tomorrow) then i'm off until jan. 5. i.cannot.wait. yes, i realize that a few days after christmas i will be ready to send the kids somewhere, anywhere because i'll be pulling my hair out, but for now i am looking forward to it.

snuggling in bed w/ the hubs on a sunday afternoon is, perhaps, one of my favorite things in the entire world.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

engage...indeed


get some coffee, it's going to take awhile or how to have an awesomefuckingevening for $2

the past couple of years my mom has taken to having the grand kids spend the night one weekend around christmas time to make cookies. honestly, up until about 5 minutes ago i've always been incredibly cynical about this because as you may know, i don't really like my parents that much. anyhoo--another post entirely, best left for apres holidays i'm guessing.


this meant that last night the hubs and i were CHILD FREE. oh sweet lord. really, we get a CF night about once a quarter. i think the last one was in august for the hub's birthday. and really, this too is another post because the main reason we don't go out more is that our kids have never had a babysitter, other than family. i have issues. issues w/ people i don't really know watching my kids. my babies. again, that's another post.


we dropped the kids off and headed out for the night. don't get all excited. we didn't go to a strip club (that was for his birthday) or visit a sex shop (also for his birthday) or have sex on the couch in the garage (that was...for no special reason).

first, we went to the mall. i think the last time we went to the mall CF was about 11 yrs ago, before the girl was born. i don't do malls. i think part of this is because when malls became the "in" thing for teens, we were living in germany and i missed out on the whole craze. plus, since shopping (except for christmas shopping) really isn't something i get off on i hate malls because you have to go to a different store for everydamn thing. i like going to one store to get everything done. we walked around the mall a bit. there was an elvis impersonator singing christmas carols. too funny. then we went into my favorite happy place. bath and body works. and though it was crowded and the shelves needed some serious stocking, i think i said, at least twice, out loud, this place makes me happy. i fuckinglove lotions and potions and lip glosses and all that stuff the bath and body works carries. i was in scent heaven i tell you. we picked up two cute little lambies for the kids' stockings and i got about $50 worth of lotions and soaps. omg. score. cost to us? NOTHING. you see, the hubs has a lot of customers and some of these customers give him gifts for christmas, though i think this particular gift was for thanksgiving. go figure. this gift was a gift card for the mall. any shop. yes. i totally used part of it for my lotions.

then we went in spencers. whoah. i haven't been in spencers probably since i was in college (shit, like 20 yrs ago). they've changed. the store was much darker than i remember. and omfg they sell sex toys and riding crops and handcuffs and SEX stuff in spencers. we were the oldest shoppers in there by a good 15 years. the teen boy in line in front of me was buying a dildo; he made the point of saying (like anyone cares?) that it was for his girlfriend. the hubs said he was probably buying it for himself but i don't know. and plus, uh, when the girl is a teen if a guy buys her a dildo for christmas? omfg i think the hubs would kill him. i didn't buy a dildo. cos seriously, they looked like novelty items not like anything that would really work well ya know? i bought a twilight poster, for the girl, for christmas. she's going to pee her pants.

we visited a few more stores then went to dinner.

japanese steak house. you know the ones--where it's like watching food network iron chef right in front of you : ) yeah. yummy good meal. our cost? $2. yet another gift card from yet another one of the hubs' customers paid for our awesome meal.

by this time it was about 10:30 and on the way home we talked about what was left to get for the kids for christmas so we stopped at the evil empire (yes, wallfuckingmart). we picked up a few things there and headed home.

there might have been porn on the big screen; there might have been sex somewhere other than the bed; there might have been some mary jane. i really can't recall. i woke up euphoric : )

Friday, December 19, 2008

meeting online

today i have "met" one of my best friend's boyfriends. ok, she has one boyfriend, she is one of my best friends. and boyfriend sounds so 8th-graderish.

i hounded her into giving me his email address and i promptly and politely introduced myself. she's bringing him w/ her to our holiday (after christmas) party and i wanted to get a feel for him.

srsly? dude is awesome. on paper. you know, what you can tell from emailing w/ someone. the three of us have been emailing back and forth and he's incredibly funny. that's a plus. i suspect that he also is a smart ass, another plus. and it is obvious he cares for her. plus, plus. and that she is happy. plus, plus, plus.

so far i have only found one problem w/ him. he is not a cat person. she is a cat person. hmmmm.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

junk smelling

the hubs heard one of those "weird" news stories on the radio today. the female dj was reading the story about some guy who came home late from work and his wife asked to smell his junk because she suspected him of cheating.

the male dj broke in then and said, yeah, that's common, smelling the junk to see if it's been where it shouldn't have been.

the female dj (like me) had never heard of this. she continued reading the story. the husband said no, you can't smell my junk, the woman bent down to do it any way and the dude hit her and ran off. guilty. yep, he's guilty.

so, that prompted the pole over there, on the left. it was the hubs' idea.

one of the other male djs said, yeah, you never deny a woman when she wants to smell your junk because you might just get lucky.

the female dj said, uh, so, she's mad at you for coming home late and asks to smell your junk and you think that's going to lead to oral sex? uh, only in your dreams.

and the other guy dj says, well, if she smells my junk and realizes i haven't been cheating then she's happy and i might get lucky.

srsly? do dudes REALLY think like that?

no, i'm really not THAT geek

today majel roddenberry, the first lady of star trek, died. sniff sniff. shut up. as a child i was forced to watch star trek (the old ones) and i happened to marry a man who likes star trek (the next generation) though he's totally NOT a treckie. i will admit to watching, and enjoying, the next generation. there. my secret is out.

a mom's letter to santa

*i didn't write this, but got it in an email today

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor and sold 62 cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music, a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, 'Yes, Mommy' to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting 'Don't eat in the living room' and 'Take your hands off your brother,' because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always, MOM...

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

*Santa has asked that this gets passed on to all the mommies you know.

randomness

*****tuesday night (the night the hubs was out of town) the kids and i ran around trying to find all of the supplies they needed for holiday projects for this week. projects they informed me of just that day. nice. so we scrambled to find felt and glitter and buttons and sequins for the boy and gingerbread-house-making supplies for the girl. i hate running around to 3-4 different places on a week night.

*****wednesday morning the girl said the pain she had felt in her chest/abdomen the night before was still there and actually worse. it hurt to breath deep. it hurt to lay down. (the hubs is still out of town). i woke up feeling like i would hurl at the drop of a hat. nice way to start a day. so, i took the boy to school and off to the doc w/ the girl. we waited and waited. seems like everyone is sick this week. i was sure we'd have to go get xrays after the doc visit. i was ready for this to be a morning of running back and forth. i still felt like horking but it was easing up a bit. we finally got in to see the doc. after examining the girl and asking a few questions she gave her diagnosis. gas. yes, you heard me. the girl (who is gassy anyway dear lord) has a huge gas bubble in her stomach and gas can cause very sharp pains and be quite painful. prescription? no soda, gum, broccoli or beans for a few days and lay on your left side. huh.

so we trotted home; the girl laid on the couch watching tv all day, i did a brief amount of work (because though it is not obvious i am quite busy at the office this week) and then collapsed on the couch in a coma until the hubs got back from his trip. i woke up, but did not get up, briefly when he got home and then fell back into a coma.

****the girl went to school today (hoping she won't expel the gas while actually at school--though she's done this before too. yeah, she has no lady-like manners) and was in fact in a geography bee. i'm at work today and not feeling as horkish, but not feeling 100% yet.

****tomorrow night the kids are spending the night w/ my folks. my mom makes this big to-do around the holidays and asks all of the grand kids to spend the night and make cookies. whatev. that at least gives the hubs and i an actual kid-free night, which is a rare thing for us.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

for the profanity challenged (not me)


if this planet's rockin'....

i just got a press release from a company called global vibration. lol. ok, so the teenage boy in me is thinking:

don't come knockin' if this planet's rockin'

global vibration--it's bringing sexy back

global vibration--people took them seriously when they said make love not war

global vibration--the highest setting on your cell phone

global vibration--tag line for the next generation of vibrators

global vibration--it's caused by santa's sleigh traveling through so many time zones in one night

global vibration---you fill in the blanks, i'm going to get another cup of coffee ; )

they call her mississippi..

ok, not really. nobody calls me mississippi but i have that train song embedded in my brain on a loop. she's the one that makes me...faaaaaaaaalllllllll...they call her mississippi, but she don't flow to me. ahem. i had previously posted that my private nation was the best train cd but i might have to add drops of jupiter to that, and not just because drops of jupiter is my song. really. i think pat wrote it about me. i remember exactly where i was when i heard it for the first time and a light bulb came on and i knew he wrote it about me. but like if the hubs was singing it about me. anyhooo. (too much coffee this morning, yes, possibly, maybe). also, pat (train's lead singer) is my boyfriend and he has a solo cd out. which would make an AWESOME christmas present for people who like pat and/or train. just saying.

this is actually a lazy post because i'm procrastinating writing a story for work and was looking at peeps blogs and so here's what you're getting for now.

broad posted this story about gay penguins (totally stealing my post idea btw) and you should check it out. if you like penguins. and gays. because i do. like both that is.

sherendipity is guest posting here about what is possibly the weirdest christmas thing i've ever heard of. i'm still not sure i believe it. really.

hotch has a non-buying mantra on her post today talking about how enough really is enough. i'm trying to buy into it, but, so far, it's not working.

astarte made me totally jealous cos she's in her pjs drinking cocoa spiked coffee (yeah, act like you didn't already know all about that trick cos she thinks she discovered it : ). i won her contest for most embarrassing holiday moment. schweet!

bea has totally resorted to stress-cleaning. go give her some bloggy love.

kristin has her lovely tree up, heinous has some psycho neighbors and just is talking about redo buttons and he's got a second blog up for poetry.

Monday, December 15, 2008

the things you find on your camera

yes, young jedi, the force is strong in this one

look deep, deep in to my eyes. you want to give me that hotdog don't you?

the wii tennis pro getting in some practice. notice the long lovely locks.


when we get out of this basket i'm so going to shred something in her room.
dude, you need a tic tac.


hey, whatcha doin'? can i has that cheezeburger?


i am soooo over this homework

i do this every year

i was all smug with myself, having ordered most of the kids' gifts on amazon, and adding to it w/ their big gifts the hubs and i got two weeks ago. my last shipment came today and i'm sitting here with these boxes in my pod thinking, huh, it's not really that much stuff.

i do this every year. me, the anti-materialistic member of the family, does not know when to quit christmas shopping for the kids. their big gifts are quite nice, though we really, really did get them for steals i tell you. the boy is getting a digital camera and the girl is getting a camcorder. seriously, they are not high-dollar, high-end, high-tech things, but they are nice.

aside from that they are each getting a couple of books, dvds and a cd, a couple of shirts, electronic banks, book making kits and another toy.

this is where i'm such a wishy washy dumb ass because really, i'm the one saying they have way too much shit as it is and it's not how many or how much you get (because i really do feel that way) but damn i love giving presents. and damn i love getting presents.

what's it going to take?

it seems no matter where i turn lately there is an overall cloud hanging over everyone. blogs seem to be quieting down and when people do blog there's so much stress and...not sadness but just a feeling of...eh, vanilla. no joy. no excitement. it's the same with most people i talk to face to face as well. are we all waiting for the sky to fall? are we all so stressed about the possibility/probability of the economy getting worse? i don't know.

what i do know is that even if the sky falls and your worst case scenario happens (losing jobs, houses, becoming destitute, etc.--yes, these are things that live in that dark corner of my brain) i won't lose my friends and family. could the hubs or i lose our jobs this coming year? sure, nothing is guaranteed. this thought worries me, but the most important things in my life can't be taken from me.

i don't even know what i'm trying to say here other than i hate this cloud of melancholy or depression or worry or stress that's hanging over everyone and i just like to share this cup of coffee w/ you instead.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

lost, a party and omg...cookies

friday---the hubs and are are lost addicts. it is almost, but i don't think quite as bad as our west wing addiction. the thing is, we never actually watch these shows when they're on. a few years ago we found west wing on bravo. we started buying each season on dvd. we have them all. we've watched them about 4-5 times. we heart it. then, i borrowed season one of lost from a friend. we'd never seen it on tv. we were again hooked. we bought seasons 2 and 3 and waited impatiently for season 4. the hubs bought it friday night. omg. we watched 3 episodes and dammit if i'm still not as confused as i was at the end of season three. however, i love it. my boyfriends are sayed and sawyer.

saturday---the boy spent the day at a friend's celebrating a birthday and the hubs, the girl and i went grocery shopping and to get baking supplies. saturday night we all went to a friend's christmas party. this is another one of my friend's that is martha-fucking-stewart (i have like 3 who have this disease). her house looked spectacular, all decked out for christmas and so cozy and lots of yummy food. she does awesome home improvement projects like tiling her entire kitchen back splash in this blue/green mosaic looking shards of tile thing. and covering her cabinets w/ copper tiles. seriously, awesome. the hubs was pretty much the lone republican there and for whatever reason he got off on it and had a great time stirring the pot. he is quite the instigator. i came home feeling like i needed to hire a maid to clean my house and i should get my ass in gear and DO something.

sunday---the girl and i baked. all.damn.day. we literally did not get out of our pajamas. though we are not finished, today we made:
2 batches of fudge (one w/ and one w/out nuts; the boy doesn't like nuts)
2 batches of rice crispy treats
snickerdoodles
vanilla/chocolate pinwheel cookies
gingerbread cookies
peanut butter cookies w/ hershey kisses on top
and we have two basic cookie dough made and in the fridge for sugar cookies later this week

whew! while we were doing that the hubs made this caribbean chicken in his non-fryer for dinner along w/ mashed potatoes (really, what's NOT to love about mashed potatoes), gravy and green beans.

it was a pretty good weekend all around.

Friday, December 12, 2008

back in the chocolate

no, not that cycle, the love cycle.

i don't know if this happens to anyone else, but the hubs and i go through cycles. i always love him, that goes without saying. he is my best friend and has been since i was 15. but that feeling of being IN love, that feeling where you want to be near them as much as possible (and i'm not talking just for the deed), where you delight, yes delight in them like you did when you were dating, or just get that tingly feeling when you look at them, that, for me, goes in cycles.

that probably sounds awful, like i don't delight in him or get tingly on a regular basis. but let's face it, when you've been married for 16 years and both work full time, travel for your jobs, have two kids, four animals and all the other life stuff, the tingly moments don't always get top priority. but sometimes, sometimes i just get swept away all over again.

for the most part we are on the same page though one of us might be a paragraph or two behind. but other times we are completely in sync. over the last five years or so this happens more and more often.

a couple of years ago i posted about this i think, and compared us to neapolitan ice cream. sometimes it's the strawberry (my least favorite flavor, but it's still ice cream and i love ice cream), then there's vanilla, also, still loving the ice cream but, it's vanilla=boring, and then there is the chocolate, luscious and yummy and tasty and my favorite.

and this week it wasn't any one thing that realigned the planets or put us back in the chocolate, it just is. maybe it's the pull of this full moon, the biggest moon of the year? i don't know.

today after one of the most boring and strained office christmas parties on the planet i kidnapped the hubs from his office w/ the intent of doing some christmas shopping. what did we do instead? came home and snuggled under the covers until it was time to pick the kids up from daycare. we laughed. we talked. i just wanted to climb inside him.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

saved by van morrison, mars and the hubs

the day has been saved by van morrison. i cranked caravan up so loud on my way to work that i could feel the speakers vibrating. THAT is awesomefuckingmusic right there folks. i was going to be all nice and linky w/ a Utube of caravan but i didn't like the versions they were offering.

mars also will be contributing to pulling my ass out of aunt flo's bitchfest because of their lovely, lovely peanut butter m&ms. i might just eat them for breakfast.

and the hubs. dear man. i called him this morning to apologize for waking him up an hour late (thanks to the aunt flo induced narcolepsy i had an even harder time hearing the alarm). he was totally fine and even chuckled when i told him we might be having chocolate for dinner. he said he saw it coming yesterday w/ my underwear choice and the fact that i came home horny and promptly fell asleep mid-sentence five minutes after the kids went to bed.

carry on.

you know it's not good when i post at 7 a.m.

i would just fill this post up w/ grumble grumble grumble but then you wouldn't know what i'm bitching about and what's the sense in that?

you would think after all these years i'd totally pay attention to the signs and gear myself up for it right? nah, i don't roll like that. plus, getting mentally prepared doesn't do a damn bit of good. the signs have been there all week---i hate everything in my closet; broke out the granny panties; had narcolepsy--yes, aunt flo (i've always hated that term) came to visit this morning. and really, the bitch needs to move the hell out. and yes, i think i write this same damn post at least every other month, but srsly mother nature? i'm. not.having.any.more.babies. i do not need the cycle anymore can i please get the fuck off now? cos it's just pissing me off. ahem.

also? it is what 11 days into december and yesterday it was like 60+ degrees and today i think we're going swimming. i hate weather. ok, i really don't, i love rain and thunderstorms and snow etc. just heat is what i hate. i hate sweating.

on a lighter note--ha, not very fucking likely (i almost typed lickly) today--our company is no longer up for sale. so, i am sort of breathing a small sigh of relief. a small one. because there are no guarantees.

i am in to the third book of twilight and i am frustrated. three books into this and they haven't had sex. removing my parental side from the equation (because that side is glad they haven't cos the girl is totally hooked on these books and for her sake i'm glad these teens haven't had sex) but from my personal point of view? oh.my.god. if i were bella i would be masturbating all the damn time because edward thwarts her every stinking move to get physical. sometimes he lets it get to the point where she's breathing heavy and then backs off. srsly. dude has a lot of self control for a vampire. if the situation were reversed he'd be calling her a cock-tease. once you get the other person breathing heavy you can't really leave them in a lurch. that's not nice.

and, while i'm bitching, i am feeling a little neglected from my IRL peeps. the ones who used to read and comment? yeah. i think they left me.

the joy of kittens--aside from the bottom part of both trees now being un-decorated there are other joys to having kittens. all four of us hoomans have scratches on our feet. jasper thinks late night foot pouncing is the bomb. even w/ layers of covers between us he can do damage. also, all of our pony tail holders have disappeared. i have found balls of socks throughout the house. they were all matched up and ready to be put away in a basket in my room. now they are strewn all over the house in corners and god knows where else. i found christmas tree ornaments in the dining room and in the entryway last night. funny, i don't remember putting them there.

gah....happy little friday.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

forcing the issue

in our office there are a plethora of departments and each handles birthdays differently. during my tenure here i have been in two and a half departments. i say 'and a half' because right now though my department is its own department, it is tiny (there are 3 of us), it is also considered a part of a much bigger, much more important (in most people's but not my mind). in my old department when it was some one's bday someone would stop and get bagels or we'd have a cake or something as a group. in my tiny department we buy each other presents and sometimes go to lunch. in this big important department they have some elaborate deal about a list and you bring in treats (for the ENTIRE department) for the person who's bday comes either before or after yours. sheesh.

in the two years that i have been considered part of this larger department i have avoided having my name/bday on the list, mainly because then i'd be doing double duty and frankly i don't love all the people in the bigger department that much. to borrow sherendipity's word, many of them are doucecanoes. when the treats are brought in the whole department gets together to lamely sing happy birthday and share the treats. it is an open type area so boycotting this isn't the politically correct thing to do so i do stand in the crowd and pretend to sing. most of the time i don't partake of the treat. sometimes i do.

today a co-worker who used to be in my department but who is now part of the big department said she's getting harassed to give up my birth date so they can add me to the list. shit. really? just leave me the fuck alone people. i don't want to drink your kool aid and be part of that crap. fo sho.

office related forced socialization pisses me off. and i'm really a friendly person; with the people i want to be friendly to. forced friendliness makes me mad. now this person, who is insistent about wanting my name on the list, will be added to my own list. she's a douche to anyway; who sits on a giant yoga ball at work. take your crunchy ass home pollyanna. bleh.

baby you give good love

do you know what you get when you give an awesome, unsolicited, spontaneous BJ?

an extra hour of sleep and coffee in bed the next morning, that's what.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

rebuttal to hotchpotchery

i don't know where to begin. i'm almost peeing my pants w/ glee over this post at hotchpotchery. her questions prompted my post about the PAC (penguins at christmas) below.

this weighty topic bears further discussion and explanation on my part. my aversion to penguins frolicking (don't you love that frolicking has the word licking in it?) with polar bears (aside from the fact that in all reality the bears would most likely eat the poor penguins if given half a chance) mostly stems from the fact that i assumed when marketers did this they did it because they were stupid and thought penguins lived at the north pole. trust me, some people do think this. and really, i might be the only person on the planet that gets irritated with people who do not know where penguins actually live. because god knows that's of critical, global importance. yes, some do live as far north as the tip of south america and some are in new zealand but it just frosted my ass for people to think they lived at the north pole. with the polar bears. plus, i liked lording it over people when i told them they were wrong. that's a genetic defect btw.

so, it isn't really the idea of the penguins and polar bears being friendly, it is the IDEA that people that lump them together were doing so out of ignorance and ignorance, more than PAC, irritates the crap out of me. because i'm simply just not ignorant about anything (yeah, uh, right, and if you believe that one.....)

does that make ANY sense at all? i am all for crossing the The Mason-Dixon Line of Christmas Creatures so long as the penguins are being lumped in at christmas in the spirit of equal opportunity for all animals and foul and not because people think they live at the north pole.

i was going to share some pictures of all the animal ornaments on our trees, to prove that i'm not anti-any animal, but have just realized that uh, aside from a starfish, some sand dollars (do those count?) scooby doo, curious george and a teddy bear, oh, and a few dogs and cats, the only other animal/foul to be found are penguins.

what??? me? having penguin ornaments? alas, yes. but you see, people know this about me, that i love penguins. few people, aside from my friends who read this and my immediate family, know of my dislike for penguin christmas things. so, they get me penguin christmas things. so i have several (alright like elebenty billion) penguin christmas ornaments. they're gifts. i cherish them. i hang them.

the only PAC thing i ever bought myself was a stuffed opus wearing reindeer antlers w/ christmas balls dangling from them. and, while we're talking penguins, cos who doesn't love that? when the girl was a toddler she said it like this...peng-a-wins.

unchristmasy penguin

ok, so hotch asked what my deal is w/ being anti-penguin (i always want to put a g at the end of that!) at christmas. for my long time readers you know of my fondness for these flightless birds. it started in high school when i discovered bloom county and opus and it took flight from there. i collect them. i want to go to antarctica to see them. i own march of the penguins. i have a robe covered in penguins. they rock.

however, penguins have NOTHING to do with christmas. they do not live at the north pole w/ all the other christmasy icons and even though that soda company loves running that damn commercial w/ polar bears and penguins, they do not live on the same pole! north and south baby--keep it separate.
*thanks to my bro for emailing this penguin today : )

Monday, December 8, 2008

nutcracker smutcracker


*you can stop reading now if you have CK overload. i know i've posted an ass load today but there's a lot running around in my head this evening.

first, yeah, the girl totally apologized to me tonight for being a bitch about wearing her coat. she said i was right, it was cold and she needed it. i love that about her. i really do. she's done that before, been a weenie about something and then came back and apologized.

second, her class (6th grade) went to see the nutcracker today. i was soooo excited and would have loved to have gone w/ her but no parents were allowed. dammit. so when i asked her about it i was expecting glowing reviews and excitement. eh, she said she almost fell asleep.

the girls skirts flew up all the time, even though they were tutus that was gross. the guys wore tights and shirts and you could see all of their stuff and it was gross. that sugarplum fairy was stupid (she makes crazy noises and high pitched squeals). and it was boring. they should have just had the orchestra without the ballet part. nobody in my class liked it.

ah, poor Tchaikovsky, dished by a 6th grader.

i'll show you mine if you show me yours

here i was thinking i was being all clever and shit when i came up with this holiday semi-meme thing for which sherry so graciously made me a button. huh. well, i've seen about three other blogs do the same thing, so, while i'm not first or even original, i hope you'll have fun w/ it.




show your wood or share your bush. here are the rules:

1. take this lovely bloggy button sherry made to your blog and post some pics of your christmas tree, hanukkah bush or other flora/fauna

2. let me know when you do so i can come visit your wood/bush

3. pass it along as you see fit. add any rules you want. do it or not. i'm easy.

4. the day you post the wood/bush on your blog you have to use wood and/or bush in a sentence when conversing w/ someone who will find it odd that you've said wood and/or bush.

5. if you do not have a blog email me your pics and i will post them here.

what? you're still here? btw--as for taggin? anyone reading this is officially tagged. that's it. go post your pictures. here are my mine. enjoy.


this is the girls' hand (salt dough) from six years ago. sniff sniff.

and the boy's.

this is our first ornament. the hubs bought it for me when we were dating. we got it on a trip to rothenburg with his parents when we lived in germany. it's hand-blown glass, hand-painted and gorgeous.

this is the only ornament on my tree that actually has to go in a certain place. my great aunt gave this to me about 20 years ago, it's a tiny wooden birdhouse. it must always hang at the very tip top of our tree.

and here is the tree in the den where we'll get together with the extended family on christmas eve.

and here is our family tree in the living room where santa will leave his booty. see that tree skirt? my grandma made that for me when i was in college. the presents already under the tree are the boy's gifts to us : )

picture this

i have the promised holiday post coming up, but as i was preparing and de-assing the pics from my camera i found all of these and decided to share : )


remember a week or so ago when i said we had a two-hour school delay because of the...ahem...snow? yeah, this was the accumulation we got that day : ) i made the girl take pictures to prove it.

as i was scrolling through the pictures on the camera i found this and almost cried. one of the kids took it at some point, they're always taking pictures w/ my camera. this was my kitty rebel. i can't believe it's been a week since we buried him.


yeah, random pictures? this is one the boy took. i don't even ask anymore.


this is little jasper, hanging out in the hubs' recliner.



here's a shot of the boy on the trampoline on one of those awesome fall days we had.














i'll just call you slut ok?

today i was emailing with my good friend broad, telling her of my work woes and how the economy and the lack of advertising in the publishing world are blurring the lines between church and state.

broad used to work w/ me before she got fed up and moved the hell on. good for her, but sad for me.

anywhooo, i was whining about work and how i'm starting to feel like a whore because edit and advertising lines, which should for all purposes be treated like the black and red cables on a car battery, are getting mucked up and i'm starting to get a little whip lash from the jolts, when broad said, If it helps I can start just calling you slut to ease the transition for you ; )

now THAT'S a good friend ; )

bad mom; movie review and bad taste

this morning i had the audacity to make the girl wear a coat! holy cripes it was like below 30 degrees this morning, our high might be 43 degrees and i had to MAKE her wear a coat. she tried explaining to me that she was wearing a long sleeve shirt and a hoodie, she didn't need a coat. uh, yes you do. so, as we're standing in the garage at 6:45 a.m. she refused to talk to me and wouldn't stand IN the garage, because that was too close to me, but rather in the driveway. she left without speaking. she has no idea how that makes for a bad morning for me.

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p.s. i love you was on hbo this weekend. we watched it. for those who may not know, it's a chick flick. hilary swank (is it me or is something just a bit off in her features? not that she's not pretty, but it's just askew) plays a widow who gets letters from her dead husband. hole.e.shit talk about a bawl fest. seriously. i know it's hollywood manipulating me but omg it killed me. it was sweet and sad and romantic and all of those things.

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i love oatmeal. i often bring the pre-made oatmeal packs to work to eat mid morning because otherwise i don't really do breakfast. the last time i was at the grocery store i decided to try to be good and got the quaker weight control version. i was all smug w/ myself this morning as i made that. i sat down at my desk and started eating it while culling through work email. omg. that shit is nasty. seriously. i ate it all, but it was nasty. i think it must have a splenda or shit after taste. really, i won't be eating any more of that crap. let me know if you want the rest of the box, there's only one packet missing. eww. i might have to get a cinammon bun out of the vending machine to cancel out the nasty taste in my mouth. (don't go there.)

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the hubs did most (maybe all) of the outside decorating this weekend. love his heart. we inadvertantly have a snowman theme going on. i love snowmen so i guess i buy a lot of snowman christmas stuff. (there are no christmas penguins in the yard) though there are penguin ornaments on our trees. i can't help it. many of them were gifts.

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the awesome sherry finished the button for my holiday meme thingy so i will post that, with the rules, tonight so check back for more fun and adventures ; )