Sunday, November 30, 2008

my relationship w/ alcohol

i am judgemental and hypocritical about alcohol consumption. i do not know how to be a casual drinker--a cocktail or glass of wine here and there--i don't really know how to do moderation. sometimes in the summer i like having a Guinness or two, but otherwise i don't get it. to me, the purpose of drinking is to get a buzz.

my dad is an alcoholic, and though i've long since grown up and moved out of his house, those formative years aren't called formative years for nothing. the smell of liquor, particularly jim beam, turns my stomach. there are so many, many stories i could spill, but won't, about those years. they were not good. i remember one morning, sitting down on an upholstered footstool in our living room to put my shoes on, getting ready for school. the night before my dad must have spilled a drink on it because it was wet and when i got up i smelled like jim beam. i had to change clothes. and that was just one of the funnier (now) things.

my aunt, his sister, is an alcoholic as well, but she's been in AA for probably 20 years. i admire her so much. she's often tried to take my dad, who swears he doesn't have a drinking problem simply because he doesn't have the same drinking pattern she did, to meetings. he'll never go.

i'm fairly certain, under the right circumstances, i would be an alcoholic. in college--well, how do you distinguish a drinking problem w/ typical college behavior? as an adult i've also had drinking issues. not the come home every day and get plastered, but when we have parties or are at parties i do not know when to stop. i have a small window between a good buzz and flat out falling down annihilated. the hubs knows this and is always there to watch over me, guard me, take care of me. when i started travelling for work and would drink away from home, we fought a lot. i didn't understand it really. why did he care if i had a drink or two....or five? because i lose control and he wasn't around to protect me.

there have also been times, years ago, when the hubs drank more than i was comfortable with, and my brother too for that matter. it scares me, men drinking. the hubs isn't a drinker, really. this is not to say he never has a drink--he drinks beer at cookouts or rum and coke at parties, but he doesn't lose control and he doesn't drink in a way that scares me.

one of his customers gave him two bottles of some fancy rum for thanksgiving. the hubs had a rum and coke yesterday and said i might like it because it was so smooth. i couldn't get passed the smell. it turned my stomach and made me think of sitting on that jim-beam-soaked footstool.

turkey success

the hubs rescued our thoughts about what thanksgiving should have been yesterday.

despite the fact that the boy was up, in my face at 4 a.m. saying, mom i think i'm going to throw up......blech all over my bedroom floor....he felt better later on and we went ahead with our mini-after-thanksgiving dinner w/ my bro and sil's family.

and for the record, i must have the cutest 7 month old niece on the planet, really, she's simply precious. the girl and i are like moths to a flame when she's around. before they even walk through the door the girl is washing her hands and saying i have dibs on puddin. the plus side is she changes every diaper when she's around : )

and gameboy--sometimes i think he likes me, sometimes not. he cracks me up w/ some of the things he says though.

for dinner we had the infrared fried turkey (moist); cornbread stuffing (i made it from my MIL's recipe); green beans, cranberry sauce, yeast rolls, pasta salad and deviled eggs. it was much better than the real thanksgiving.

the boy ended up getting sick again, which ended the evening. though the hubs said it's from eating at my mom's, i think we've caught a stomach bug here and the boy is the only one (so far and i hope it stays that way) blowing chunks.

today the plan is to get all of the christmas stuff out of the attic and start decorating.

(my wish for the year is that my kids would learn patience. when they want something---like for me to make donuts---they want it RIGHT THIS FUCKING MINUTE and do not stop asking me about it until i do it)

it's time to make the donuts (she says, shuffling through the kitchen in her slippers and pajamas)

Friday, November 28, 2008

fluff and stuff

thanksgiving at my parents' house--no family drama happened, but oy vey, my mom really really is a bad cook. the one thing she typically makes that i really, really like is her stuffing. so what does she do? she doesn't make it this year. well, she made some stuffing but it wasn't her stuffing and it mostly came from a box. yuck.

i kid you not, as soon as we left last night my kids, who basically ate turkey and rolls because they don't eat yams or stuffing or broc casserole, were hungry and talking about how bad the turkey was. to say it was dry is an understatement.

we all had upset stomach's last night and most of the day. yeah, thanks mom.

today the hubs had to work part of the day so i took the kids and one of their friends bowling. they were adamant about not wanting the bumper guards on, so the first game, no bumper guards. the boy bowled a 15. second game we had bumpers; he bowled a 69.

tomorrow we're having a mini-thanksgiving, as in the hubs is going to try out his infrared turkey cooker, with my bro and sil, gameboy and puddin.

i participated in black friday today; online. i placed a whopping amazon order and am excited cos that means a lot of the shopping is done for the kids. well, ok, i have more things i want to get them, but i think the bulk of stuff is done.

tonight is veg out night i believe. the hubs is already napping in the recliner; the kids have just gotten their baths and i'm really out of blog fodder; not that this post was tantalizing in any way, shape or form.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

turkey day 2008

i'm thankful for the usual, my awesome kids and my best friend/husband. (he says i am thankful for my laptop because i get up every morning and check my blog.)

i am thankful that even though not everyone is perfectly healthy, we are not hopeless and we are not at the end of our rope.

i'm thankful that even though we are not necessarily looking forward to going over to have thanksgiving dinner at my parents' house, we are able to and they are still alive.

i am thankful for the fact that even though the hubs and i are in a totally hating our jobs mode, we do still have jobs, unlike so many others, and we are still able to buy christmas presents for our kids.


i am thankful for the wonderful friends i have. when i used to work w/ sweet t, famous and crusty we often made up back stories on each other using images to create books from stock photo albums. i sort of revisited that this week by posting over at sherendipity while she's having a tough week in OK.

(the hubs is thankful for my parents because he says, dripping with sarcasm, if they hadn't done such a bang up job raising their three kids he wouldn't have had such an interesting time with us.)

i too am thankful for humor, though heinous did a really great post on this already.

i am thankful for the sweet little kitty jasper that the kids and hubs rescued. he scampers throughout the house, finding the oddest things to entertain himself. a crumpled post it note, a piece of yarn, feet. (my feet look like they barely escaped the texas chainsaw massacre btw; they are scratched all to hell.)

the hubs is thankful that his dad was in the army so the hubs was born in japan because (and i quote) after 43 years my penis is still going strong but the car i had that was made in detroit died so i had to buy a foreign car.

(i am thankful that the hubs gives me such whitty comments when i ask him a question. oddly enough, i really do love this about him.)

the boy: my family, friends, and pets, and food (and then he names all the pets) and peace on earth.

the girl: meow (her cat), food, you guys (yeah, she's so deep)

happy thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

excuse me as my 16 yr old side comes out

oh.my.god. we went to see twilight today and let me tell you--i TOTALLY get it. i totally get the crazed, screaming, swooning obsession that has hit every female under the age of 16 and a good many of the ones over 16.

the book was good, not in a great literature kind of way, but riveting none-the-less. the movie....although there wasn't nearly enough kissing (according to my 11 yr old girl and i have to agree) i have officially traded in my guilty crush on drake bell for robert pattinson. yes, i realize he's a mere boy and i'm 40, but oh.my.god. he's beautiful. or, maybe it's the whole vampire thing that attracts? i don't know. i've always loved a good vampire story. they're sensual and mysterious and the outsiders etc., all attractive. and there's the whole immortality thing and the forbidden love part and the living on the edge of death thing.

yes, i get it.

ok, now the adult side of me. the movie was not a great masterpiece and if don't get off on the book you probably will not like or get the movie. it's a cult thing. there are some differences in the movie and these annoyed the crap out of the girl. she did the same thing with every single harry potter movie, pointed out the smallest details that were not like the book. these things bother her. honestly, they didn't bother me much at all. except there was way less kissing in the movie. : )

i got tickled when the movie first started. we were in a theater that was, oddly enough, not packed, but then again we live in a small town and it has been showing for a few days now. the boy was one of the few males in the theater. when the movie started the pre-pubescent teen girls shrieked with excitement, much like i can only imagine happened when elvis made his appearance on ed sullivan for the first time. we overheard one girl, she might have been 12-14, say she'd already seen it three times and was going to see it again tonight. one of the three girls sitting in front of us also had already seen it.

there were parts that made me laugh, just because of the cheesy dialog, but it was still good. i still enjoyed it. except, as i said, not enough kissing. though honestly any more would have made me uncomfortable, seeing as how i was sitting between my kids. each time they showed a close up of the main characters' faces the boy would lean into me with his eyes closed and ask if the girl was going to get bit now. i assured him the guy was not going to bite her.

on the way home the girl lamented about the differences between the book and the movie; asked again for the soundtrack for christmas; said how she soooo wanted to be bella and on and on.

the boy tried to talk sense into her about the fact that being bitten by a vampire would cause excruciating pain; her response? yeah, but i'd be immortal with edward.

i am now in the middle of the second book, and honestly, not liking it as much as the first. the girl says the 3rd and 4th books are better. we'll see.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

10 random things

1. the boy just said, "my thumb smells like pickles." he continues sniffing it randomly rather than go wash his hands; we made hamburgers for dinner. he doesn't eat pickles.

2. why does the cashier at the grocery store always ask, "did you find everything you were looking for?" uh, no, i typically find a hella lot more than what i was actually looking for.

3. these are the things the girl wants right this very minute: to go see twilight (we'll go tomorrow); to start her own blog (i'm thinking about this. she doesn't do yourspace or facelibre and hasn't asked to. i could set up a blog for her that's invitation only right?) and to find fergie songs on rhapsody.

(he just sniffed his thumb again!)

4. i am stalking the shelves and amazon waiting for season 4 of lost to come out on dvd--it's only a few weeks away.

5. the boy wants to make caramel apples tonight.

6. the kids are in full vacay mode, wanting to do every single thing they can think of right this very minute. i am in, leave me the hell alone for five minutes mode and we aren't doing anything that requires much effort tonight because hello we have five free days coming up and i just want to veg tonight. the hubs has to work tomorrow but i do not. the kids and i are off the rest of the week. whoot whoot. wonder how long it will take before we're driving each other crazy.

7. the girl is now hand cuffing the boy. i'd say the driving each other crazy part has already started.

8. i have two cats sitting on me at this very moment.

9. the boy asked again about caramel apples and sniffed his thumb. sometimes i really, really wonder if he's ADD or something.

10. has anyone bought anything from an etsy store? if so, are there any you'd recommend?

anticipation...fail

many of you are most likely eager about the coming thanksgiving celebration this week right? well, egads, i'm not.

to say my family is dysfunctional is a surpreme understatement. i don't hate my family (any more) but i would not say i'm looking forward to spending time with them.

let me break it down for you:

my dad will sit in the den all day either watching tv or playing video games. he's 60 and has more video games than blockbuster. he will occassionally stroll into the hub of the activity, which will be the kitchen/dining room. he will not really engage anyone in conversation. he will not really interact with any of his six grandchildren. at this point in life my kids don't pay him much attention anyway.

my mom will don her rose-colored glasses, her i'm-a-marytr-apron and of course the i'm-a-wonderful-grandma hat and try painfully to pretend that we're the waltons. though it was her idea to have thanksgiving at her house, she will be tired (she's always tired) from all of the cooking. she will have crayons and coloring books for the kids (to show how much she showers them with love) and a craft for them to do (despite the fact that of the six kids my girl is pretty much the only one who likes doing crafts).

my sister and her husband will be there with my sister's two kids. my sister and mother haven't been getting a long lately (because now that my sister is married she is trying to break away from my mom) so this might have the potential of turning in to an event. my sister's husband, if he follows true to form, will nod a few times and not speak a word. my sister SWEARS he can speak english, but aside from yes and no i haven't heard proof. it's incredibly hard to get to know someone who does not speak.

my brother and SIL have the fortune of having thanksgiving lunch at her folk's house and will join our little soiree at some point. they are the only part of my family that i truly enjoy being around. until they arrive the day will be craptastic for the most part.

the hubs will actually be the glue on this day. despite the fact that he likes being around my family even less than i do, he will drive the conversation, well, he acts like he's driving the conversation but really he instigates shit and provides entertainment. he's a good instigator.

my grandma won't be there, choosing instead to celebrate w/ my aunt and uncle and their kids. i don't blame her actually. hell, we've tried to get invited to my SIL's parent's house.

so, ours will not be a butterball turkey commercial thanksgiving. it never has been. thankfully there will be turkey and pie and sweet potatoes. otherwise, i think i'd call in sick.

are you looking forward to turkey day? is it a festive, fun-filled family event for you?

Sunday, November 23, 2008

boy w/ nerf vs. penguin

a few months ago i got this kick ass penguing toy for puddin (my sweet baby niece) in anticipation of christmas. well, the kids drew names for christmas and we didn't get her's so i gave it to her the last time she was at our house. it's a penguin, and it inflates, and there are balls inside and it makes music.

so low and behold, this morning in my email, this is what my SIL sends me : ) the boy w/ nerf vs. the penguin. my question is the boy w/ nerf my bro or gameboy (my nephew)?!!! (that's tiffy, their cat btw).



a view to a kill


shoot out at the ok coral


march of the penguins

THAT book



i have been bitten. i know i am late to jump on this bandwagon, but OMG i'm so glad i did. a few days ago i was like many of you, didn't know what this series was about, didn't really care. the girl started the series (there are four books in all) about a week ago and she finished book four yesterday. we bought her the first two books, cos, hello, i can't not feed a book habit. she bought the other two, saving up money from her allowance and extra chores (laundry).

how do i entice you to read these books without telling you the story? well, it's about vampires and it's a love story. don't scoff. it's about first love. remember that? omg. reading this first book....so intense, so many YES that's exactly how i felt moments. first love, when you think you'll die when you aren't around the person; when everything else in life still goes on but you're oblivious to it and only feel alive when you're with the person; the devastation of expecting to see them and then not seeing them; the anguish at the thought of never seeing them again; the thrill of just touching their hand and omg don't even mention a kiss. it is a roller coaster, remember?

i am chomping at the bit to start the next book.

i also realize we've hit another little milestone here in CK land. the girl has read and been obsessed with her first love story. she is very into the vampire side of it, but the first love tale was there too and she's commented on it. before this series she was still rereading (for the twelve hundredth time) the harry potter books. (she could totally kick ANY ONE'S ass at hp trivia i'm quite sure. also, side note, the guy who plays the lead in twilight also was in one of the harry potter movies). that was her genre. i tried getting her to read what i read in 6th grade---little house on the prairie etc. i didn't move up to a twilight type book until probably 7th grade. then i got sucked in to all the love stories, harlequins, silhouettes. not the racy adult ones (those came a few years later) but the first love ones, where the entire story built up to the first kiss. swoon : ) i also read endless love then (trippy book) and started reading my beloved stephen king. i think anne rice came later. her vampire stories, also love them, but they are much more adult than this series.

so--if you are looking to totally suspend yourself in another world, i mean totally, like you could spend the entire day reading and maybe stop to pee and get an iced tea, start reading the twilight series. finishing one leaves you with that hungover feeling where you look around going, huh? what did i miss. i haven't read a book like that in a long time.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Thursday, November 20, 2008

thankful...that's me

we picked the cats up at the vet and thankfully, princess meow meow is ok. for now. her blood sugar was normal (meaning she was totally freaked the hell out when they took it day before yesterday). the heart worm issue is one that we'll have to monitor. according to the tests she has been exposed to heart worms. this could mean that she was bitten at one time and did contract them but her feline immunity fended them off. or it could mean that she has them and they've yet to develop into adults. the xray didn't show any so that's a good thing. the vet recommends a yearly xray from now on for her, at least until she doesn't test positive for them again. and, her laryngitis? probably an infection she got from jasper, the kitteh.

the hubs explained this to the girl and she's ok. and for now, her cat is okay. huge sigh of relief here.

and earlier this week i breathed another huge sigh of relief. the hubs went to see a specialist, referred by his doctor. his sugar levels have been off (he's diabetic). we really thought the endocrinologist was going to put him on insulin. thankfully, she's changing up his meds a bit and stressing again the importance of life style changes. we know this. unfortunately much of the hubs' health issues are genetic, but there are things we can do together to change our life style.

i'm also thankful for my kids. i know they aren't perfect and i know i miss the days when they were sweet babies, but i do so enjoy their minds and personalities---most of the time.

i made chicken pot pie for dinner, semi-homemade. everyone was looking forward to it except the boy. he said: "pie should only be involved with dessert, not chicken."

not 10 minutes ago the girl called me in to the bathroom before she got in the shower. she feels a need to keep me visually apprised of her maturing. she said: mom, it's getting hairier and i don't like that. can i shave it? me: !!!!!! NO!


and lastly, i got a nice bloggy award from heinous. i think the rules have been bastardized by now and i'm also going to steal another idea from sherendipity and say if you're in my blog roll you're being awarded. i only read award-winning material : ) you're all winners in my book. so, the bastard rules are three unknown things about yourself (i think). i tell ya'll everything already so this will be hard to come up with three things you don't know about me.

1. i don't like wearing socks to bed and i don't like walking around barefoot.

2. when i was a girl scout camp counselor in college and spent the entire summer in a platform tent in texas my camp nickname was opus. i saw a kid make a paperweight out of a tarantula and each night heard armadillos running around the camp.

3. if you look at pictures of me and the girl up until about the 3rd grade you can't really tell us apart. however, i think she is much, much prettier than me.

sometimes being a parent sucks

this week we're struggling with an issue i never really thought about. how to talk to your 11 year old about the possible death of her cat. and this is not just any cat; this is her baby. this is the cat that comes when the girl makes certain noises; that tears through the house to get to the girl if she hears her crying. this is princess meow meow, one of the most incredible cats i've ever known.

i'd posted earlier that my cat, rebel, had a bad weekend. he's 17 and seriously, every day with him is a gift at this point. he has rallied back and doing well, however, monday meow lost her voice.

meow is incredibly vocal. she talks all the time. when she's hungry, when you come home, when the girl talks to her, when anyone talks to her, she's just amazing. so, no voice, a slight cough monday. tuesday the hubs took her to the vet. they gave her an antibiotic and drew blood, just to be on the safe side.

yesterday the vet calls and says 1) meow could be diabetic, her sugar levels were sky high. this sometimes happens when cats get excited or nervous (like when they're put in a cat carrier and taken to the vet?) so they wanted to check sugars again. 2) meow either has had or does have heart worms. this, i have since read up on, is incredibly uncommon in cats, it is a dog disease, and especially in indoor cats. our cats don't ever go outside.

(for the record, heart worms are transmitted by mosquitos. i've been reading up on it and cats can take heart worm prevention pills, like dogs, and if you have cats you should look in to it. srsly. even if they're indoor cats like meow.)

today meow is back at the vet (and jasper the new kitty is too for his distemper shot and because his eyes haven't totally cleared up) getting xrays (perhaps to better diagnose the heart worms) and more blood work.

diabetes---totally treatable. we'll just be giving cat shots every day. heart worms---not treatable. since it's so rare in cats there aren't medicines to treat it like w/ dogs. they can't use the same meds on cats. they can manage it w/ steroids, but, ultimately fatal.

i'm getting ahead of myself because we go back to the vet at 3:30 and will find out then, i hope, just what we're up against.

oddly enough the girl, who knows nothing yet about the possible severity of any of this going on with her cat, woke up feeling puny (now there's an old fashioned saying for you huh!?) so i stayed home w/ her today. i'm not feeling the greatest, but i think mine is nerves/stress about the cat.

the hubs and i are torn on what we might have to discuss with her. the girl is a huge worrier, huge. if it turns out badly and we tell her meow is very sick and untreatable, i don't think the girl could handle it. seriously guys, this cat is like her best friend, baby, lovey, protector all rolled up into one. on one hand i'm of the mind not to tell the girl anything. but, the hubs' point on ok, what if she wakes up one morning and the cat's in bed with her, dead? or she comes home from school and the cat's dead?

this is the part of parenthood that really, really sucks. knowing that you're going to tell your child something that will devastate them or knowing that something is going to happen that will devastate them and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

housekeeping

last night i was looking back at some of my posts and i realized that i used to be a better blogger, at least in my mind. my posts used to have a topic rather than random rambling. don't get me wrong, i like random rambling and will not stop doing that, however, i am going to try (try being the operative word) to stay focused occasionally when i post.

i added a little link list of my fave posts on the side if you're interested.

***i'm still having comment issues. i have the email notification thing set so each time someone comments i get an email. this is good because sometimes people comment on older posts. however, for the last month or so this is only working with some people. on one hand this is neat because when i go to my blog i am pleasantly surprised with comments. on the other hand, if i don't check every post i miss comments and i hate that and i hate that you think i'm not responding to your comments, because i do try to respond to every one. so, if you comment and i don't say anything, i probably did not know you commented. i'll keep trying to figure out what the hitch is, but, i'm not a technology wizard so i'm not hopeful.

***this morning i witnessed one of the many reasons i love the hubs. we have been having cat issues at our house. this weekend, my cat, the 17-year-old, had a rough time. he was acting...old. i don't know how else to describe it. he was having a hard time moving around. he seemed more confused than normal. it was rough. the hubs and i (mostly the hubs) tended to him 24/7. we'd hand feed him; hold him; follow him around the house. monday he made a come back and actually is doing well now, though dry cat food seems a challenge for him. they used to make soft cat food, not canned wet stuff, but soft, like cat treats are now. rebel ate a lot of treats over the weekend. yes, i realize diet-wise this isn't the best, but he's 17, it's not like he needs to watch his cholesterol. this morning the hubs made scrambled eggs for the cat. isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard? (he also dosed princess meow meow--who lost her voice monday night and might have a viral infection (we're waiting to hear from the vet) and put salve in jasper's eyes).

the wake up call

in our house i am everyone's wake up call. odd, seeing as how i am probably the one who hates getting up the most. my alarm clock has two alarms. i set both of them, usually about 10 minutes apart. my alarm clock is also 20 minutes fast. i have to play with time in the morning because really, even five extra minutes of sleeping, means a world of difference to me. and the idea that i'm "stealing" sleep with the 20minutes is even better.

this morning did not run as smoothly as it sometimes does. i wake the girl up between 6:00 and 6:15--she catches the bus at 6:50 (for those of you paying attention we did get her stop moved from the busy street to our driveway. score one for the hubs and his diligence in harassing the county). she has not yet reached the age, though i fear it's coming sooner than we realize, where it takes her long to get ready. she doesn't primp. she has SMOD (standard mode of dress) so there's little choice in what she wears. but, she dawdles. when you prod her along, even pleasantly, like "honey, don't forget to brush your hair and teeth," or "finish up because you only have 5 minutes before the bus comes," she gets all pissy and says you're nagging.

after she gets on the bus i wake the boy and the hubs. i make sure the boy is out of the bed before i get in the shower. the boy is a creature of habit. he gets up and despite the fact that i say no tv until you're ready, he turns on the tv. if he actually got up and got ready he could be out the door in 10 minutes tops. he dawdles. i drive him to school every day and most days i head to work afterwards. some days, when i just can't get my shit together, i drive him to school i my pjs and go back home to finish getting ready for work.

this morning the hubs got up as i was making coffee and trying to prod the girl into action. he was vertical so i decided one of us should be horizontal and it should be me. i went back to bed : ) the hubs got the pleasure of the girl's attitude after he prodded her to get a move on. the led to our discussion about our morning and the kids getting up, etc. both of his parents worked when he was a kid so often he and his 3 sibs got themselves ready for school; the hubs is the youngest of four. my mom often didn't work so she was our alarm clock and prodder; i am the oldest of three.

i'm wondering if perhaps these morning patterns established when we were young have anything at all to do with how we approach morning now and, more importantly, am i ultimately missing out on a life lesson here by not making my kids more responsible for getting themselves up and ready? honestly i can't see me just lying in bed, hoping either of them hear an alarm and hoping either of them brush their teeth and hair without being told to or wearing weather appropriate clothing. i would lie there, stewing, wondering if they're doing what they're supposed to.

at what point do you give them more responsiblity for their mornings? did you have to get yourself up and ready for school? i'm thinking maybe when they're in high school i should start teaching them that, cos lord knows when they go to college they'll have to do it.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

impatience.....i gots it

when i was in 6th grade it was decided that i was getting a bicycle for my birthday (which is august 28 in case you want to start hunting now for a kick ass gift for me for next year. i'll be 29.....plus 12).

i remember being very excited because this would be a "real" bike, not the CHILD's bike i'd been riding. because lord knows when you're in 6th grade your an adult for chrissakes.

during that time we lived in nc (for the second time in my dad's army career) in a town that i've since found out is referred to as fayettenam. from what i remember there were not a lot of shopping choices (not that i'm a shopping guru by any means obviously) and it was either sears or kmart.

i WANTED a kick ass 10 speed bike. i'm sure i wanted it to be sparkly blue, a color preference that followed me to high school; i dreamed of some day having a sparkly blue vw bug. neither of the stores had the bike i wanted in stock. i refused to wait for what i actually wanted because i wanted the bike right then. no waiting. impatient much? yes. so, i got a brown, three speed BOY's bike.

it was a bit big for me (i don't know when i stopped growing but when it's all said and done i'm 5'4"). you see where this is going don't you?

my impatient ass had to stand on the curb and swing my leg over the EXTENDED METAL BAR to get on the bike. (why in the HELL is that bar there? even for boys? it's a set up for punishment). and yes, ladies and gentlemen, i injured my va-jay-jay on that damned metal bar on that brown, three speed boy's bike. humph.

***and i have NO idea why that memory came flooding back to me today. my va-jay-jay is fine and i'm sooooo NOT impatient any more. (right!)

Monday, November 17, 2008

blah-day

random things cos that's how i'm rolling today.

***remember that yummy lasagna i made last weekend? the one the kids didn't eat? (yeah, they didn't eat the homemade chicken noodle soup the hubs made yesterday either) well, i cleaned out the fridge yesterday and tossed the lasagna (i know i know, i probably could have frozen it huh?). so the garbage can is sitting in the middle of the kitchen. i walked out of the kitchen for like half a second. came back and the lasagna was not in the trash but leah (the big black lab) was shaking her tail quite happily. omg! and about a hour later? she horked it all up right in front of the back door. seriously, that pile was the size of a pizza. i almost horked myself cleaning it up. (jeez, i hope nobody is eating while reading this).

***i seriously just might do the majority of my holiday shopping online.

***twice i have responded to old navy's ads and gone to the store only to be incredibly disappointed because they do not have what they said they did or at least they don't have it in the kids' size. however, they do have them online.

***i say this every year but every year it bears repeating (cos it's a pet peeve and pisses me the hell off!)penguins have absolutely NOTHING to do with christmas. they don't live at the north pole. they don't reside near polar bears. they aren't christmasy in any way, shape or form. i heart penguins and hate seeing them belitted in stupid christmas hats and carrying candy canes and frolicking with polar bears. it's just wrong. ahem, ok, go back to what you were doing.

***i heard on the radio this morning that wv has something else to be proud of. (not). i'm wv born and semi-bred (go ahead, make the jokes, i've heard them all) and i know the bad hillbilly rap the state gets. i get it. i really do. today the cdc announced the healthiest cities. some place in vermont (the place the hubs always says we're going) is the healthiest and huntington, wv (home to my alma mater, marshall university) is the unhealthiest city in the u.s. whoot whoot. (this is me, hanging my head).

***holy shit--they just broke a news story that we MIGHT get snow FLURRIES here tomorrow. crap. that means 1)school will be closed and 2) there will be no bread or milk in the stores after 5pm today. i kid you not. i've lived in north carolina longer than i've ever lived anywhere else (and still don't consider myself a north carolinian) but damn these people freak the hell out over some white stuff.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

sometimes, things DO matter

normally i'm not a materialistic person. it's not the things i have that make me happy and i know i can't take any of it with me.

however, things can make you happy. three years ago my brother and i went to wv to help clean out my maternal grandparents' house. my maw-maw died in 1999 and in 2005 my paw-paw moved into an assisted living facility.

today we started cleaning out my paternal grandma's house. my paw-paw died in 1985 and when my parents and aunt and uncle moved to nc my maw-maw did too. about a month ago she moved in with my aunt and uncle. they converted their garage to a really wonderful 'apartment' for her.

honestly i hadn't put much thought into the fact that we were going to help clean out her house today. all of the furniture has already been moved, most of it with her and i have her piano and dining room set. i have no attachment to this house because it is not the house i remember as a child. when she moved from wv to nc i was devastated because THAT house was the house i knew, the house my paw-paw lived in, the house i had so many memories of.

today we picked through the things left in her house; there was more there than i thought, which is hard to believe since it's such a tiny house. it made me sad. i broke down once, thinking about her things and the finality of it all. i picked a couple of quilts and some books, a few dishes. silly things really. one of the quilts used to lay over the back of their love seat in the wv house. i picked two ancient, chipped bowls--we used to eat cereal out of them as kids. i took a coffee mug that my paw-paw's company gave him one year.

i know it is inevitable, all these things cluttering my house now will one day be sorted, distributed and much of it taken to good will. i wonder what little things my kids will find, every day items, that will bring back a memory. will it be the faded, plastic, stained coffee cup i prefer? will it be a special blanket?

sometimes the things we carry through life do matter because they are the things of memories.

Friday, November 14, 2008

new wheels

today we had the best car buying experience ever.

last night the hubs and i shopped for cars online. we found web sites for a few of our local dealers, plugged in our parameters (price range, mileage, mpg, size) and voila we were virtually walking car lots. i narrowed it down to a few for the hubs to consider. he filled out the info to get the credit pre-approved and this morning the dealer called him and said c'mon down, you're the next contestant on the price is right.

in less than an hour we test drove the car, signed the paperwork and drove off w/ a new vehicle (2005 hyundai sante fe). it has heat--which is a plus since the hubs' doesn't. it has about 100,000 miles less than the hubs' car and...no check engine lights. and it still has about 30,000 miles left on its factory warrantee. of course that won't last long w/ the amount of miles the hubs drives, but at least i know he won't be stuck on the side of the road in bum fuck egypt.

there are two downsides. one, it's white. my car is white. i hate white cars. they show dirt like a mofo and they're boring. but, that's really minor. two, no more than a month ago we paid off the hubs' car and for the first time since we've been married we didn't have a car payment. though this car payment really is one of the lowest we've ever had.

i'm just amazed at how easy and stress free the whole process was. i think i told the dealer that like 50 elebenty times. it was an independent dealer, small town, but not one of those note lot places that lets you pay by the week.

after getting the car we went to pick the kids up from afterschool care. when the girl walked out we acted like wtf? where's our car? it's been stolen! she believed it for a split second and then was all excited to explore the car. when the boy got in the car he was like, 'dude, this is a sweet car.' so, they approved : )

Thursday, November 13, 2008

hello, my name is ck and i'm a total thief

i stole this from sherendipity's blog cos it was soooo fun. answer in the comments. go!

If you were an assassin, and could get away with offing anyone you want, who would it be?
JUST ONE? I’D POP OFF DITTO AND THE HUBS’ BOSSES.

If you could get locked into one store overnight, which store would you want to be locked in?
BARNES & NOBLES–BOOKS AND COFFEE!

If you were a goldfish and could pick your own name, what would you name yourself? FLAME (PRONOUNCED FLAMAY)

If you could be a body part for just one day, what body part would you be? A PENIS

If you could be someone’s mirror, who’s mirror would you be? JOHNNY DEPP

If you could read only one person’s mind, who’s mind would you read? THE HUBS

If you could pick your death, how would you make your exit? IN MY SLEEP AT A VERY VERY OLD AGE

If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? MAC & CHEESE (YES, IT’S A REAL CRAYOLA NAME)

If you wanted to give me $10,000 but I had to earn it, what would I have to do to get it? BBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWAAAHHHHAAA..AHEM CLEAN MY HOUSE ONCE A WEEK FOR A YEAR AND EACH WEEK MAKE AND FREEZE 7 WELL-BALANCED, YUMMY MEALS.

What’s the greater misfortune, being ugly, or stupid? STUPID–I HATE STUPID

What was the last lie you told? HMMMM..MAYBE WHEN I TOLD MY MOM I DIDN’T KNOW YET WHAT OUR THANKSGIVING PLANS WERE BECAUSE I WAS STALLING FOR TIME AND TRYING TO THINK OF A GOOD REASON NOT TO GO TO HER HOUSE THAT DAY.

Pop quiz, hotshot. There’s a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do, Jack? What do you do? IF IT’S A BUS FULL OF STUPID PEOPLE OR THE PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THE FIRST QUESTION I’D SPEED UP. OTHERWISE, I’D DRIVE THROUGH A FIELD OF MARSHMALLOWS AND HAVE EVERYONE JUMP OUT THE WINDOW TO SAFETY.

random thursday

*** i walked by the kids' bathroom this evening and almost hurled. the boy was in there, door wide open. i stuck my hand in the door and flicked the fan on then pulled the door closed a little. he has no modesty. he says, i'm sorry for the smell. i kept walking cos dude, i couldn't hold my breath any longer. (also, he was singing 'she will be loved' by maroon 5 while sitting on the toilet) afterwards he comes out and says: "i'm sorry that stunk so bad but i've been holding that in all day. i don't go number two at school. do you know what their toilet paper is made out of? it's like our napkins in the cafeteria and it gets stuck in my butt. ahhhh--i've spoiled him with cottonelle w/ aloe.

*** the hubs is FINALLY car shopping. he drives quite a bit for work and the 2000 taurus with about 60 eleventy thousand miles on it has been breathing a death rattle since this summer. he had some work done on it recently but it seems daily another warning light comes on or it starts making louder noises. it's bad enough the heater doesn't work.

*** i just wrote a whole paragraph about being on the rag and deleted it. suffice it to say today i forgot double protection and it wasn't pretty.

*** the girl is voraciously reading the twilight books. she's pages away from finishing the first one and dying to get the next one, despite the fact she doesn't have enough allowance saved up. most likely i'll buy it for her, even though i plan on getting her the rest of these books for christmas. why? because no matter what my kids beg and plead for, when they beg and plead for books i can't say no. i LOVE that they love to read, especially the girl because she's just like me, she can get lost in them and love them and reread them like they're friends that have become a part of you.

*** today i learned something about my boy--rod stewart. he collects model trains and actually has a 1:28 scaled version of grand central station in one of his houses.

*** the boy is getting a new teacher for AG and it's upsetting me more so than him. i heart his AG teacher, partly because the girl had her and she's a graduate of marshall university just like me, but mostly because she's been so great w/ the boy this year. apparently there are too many 3rd grade AG students for her (she also has the 5th graders) so tomorrow he starts w/ a new teacher. this made me think of all the great teachers i had in school. i'll spare you the run down of each year, place i lived and teacher, but my first favorite teacher was in 6th grade.

*** the girl's cat is sitting on the back of my chair, reading over my shoulder no doubt, and totally chewing on my hair. wtf?

*** hub/ck convo: me: guess what i did today? hubs: gave someone a blow job?

*** hub/boy convo: hub: so, what do you think of life? boy: it's pretty good, i don't know what we'd do without it.

*** this summer when i got my new glasses i gave up my contacts for awhile. i'd been wearing contacts 90% of the time and glasses the other 10%. this is the first time since i was in college that i've worn glasses exclusively.

i've been ditched

i've been blogging for about three years now (damn, that's a long time!) and it has been an evolution. my purpose has always been that ck is more of a journal for me personally and other people just happen to read it. i don't cover one subject. i use cuss words and talk trash from time to time. i basically unload my brain here. my goal is not to build up a huge following (cos seriously that would freak me out) or to get so much traffic that i could start making money w/ ads. if that were my plan i'd certainly be more marketable and professional, rather than my normal spouting whatever the fuck pops into my head.

when i first started blogging i didn't really read other blogs. i'd sometimes hit the next blog button on blogger to explore and i did stumble upon some blogs that way and read them for awhile, but i had no idea what a blogroll was. last year or the year before i did nahblowme (i stole that term from another blogger) where you blog every day in november. back then i didn't blog as much so it was a challenge. i found a few blogs through that and started reading them.

this year i stumbled on even more blogs i like to read and actually started commenting on other sites and visiting people on a regular basis and making blog friends. some people would put me in there blogroll, which was very nice, though unexpected. however, i noticed that some sites have ditched me, which does not bother me but it does make me curious as to why.

did i bore them? did they stop reading me? it happens, i know i do that sometimes. read a blog for awhile then eh, not so often. or did i offend them? quite possibly. i think sometimes i might lull people into thinking i'm all shiney happy non-cussing non-tmi blog and then bam, blow them away with some sexual talk or too many fucks in one post. i don't know. either way, it's fine. actually, posting about this makes it more of an issue than it is, because it's not an issue, i just find it interesting.

do you have blogs that you read for awhile and maybe even interact w/ and then just walk away?

i think blog communities or blog relationships are actually quite fascinating because it's basically uncharted territory. we know the proper etiquette in society, you meet someone, introduce yourself, shake hands, hello, etc. if you become friends with that person you, over time, learn more about each other (whereas in blogs it's much more immediate and often time much more detailed and intimate. people will write things they may not say in person, at least not right off the bat).

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

hump day

stole these from tmi tuesday. feel free to do the same.

1. Ever been skinny dipping? yes--oddly enough the first time was when i was in 3rd grade and went to summer camp. all the girls went skinny dipping in a pond. now that i think back on that, i would KICK the ASSES of counselors if they took my 3rd grader skinny dipping. also, we've skinny dipped in our pool.

2. How often do you kiss or make out without it simply being a foreplay activity? as much as possible. we kiss daily, but like making out just to make out? not that often really, which is a shame cos i love making out. a lot of it has to do w/ time and having kids around.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how content are you with your life? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest) Do you think 'content' and 'happy' the same thing? 8 and that's only because i'm really struggling with not being negative about my job right now. otherwise, i'm probably more content than i've been in a long time. and happy? that would be a 9. i do think they are different.

4. What do you do to relieve stress? nap, watch mindless tv

5. What was the special trait in your first lover that made you decide that they were "the one?" the fact that he was my best friend first and that he's a good kisser.

Bonus: How old were you when you first had sex? (positive experiences here...) two weeks shy of my 16th birthday. (which seems WAY too young to me now that i have kids)

stamina, he gots it



i have talked before about how i'm like a guy in many ways. ok, many stereotypical ways--for example, i don't like to shop that much, i can burp on command and after sex i just want to roll over and go to sleep. seriously, don't crowd me and don't talk. i'm just sayin'. and, i must confess i'm quick. most of the time embarrassingly quick. the hubs always ensures i get mine first cos hello, it's better for everyone that way right? right. so, it is not unusual for him to outlast me, but if ours is not a simultaneous event he ususally wraps up pretty soon after.

however, last night. lord help me. i seriously began to think he'd either whacked off earlier in the day or scored a little blue pill (cos he's always wanted to try that and has threatened to get one but lord who the HELL needs four hours of anything???). he kept on and on and on. dude was quite proud of himself, ya know, being that he's an ancient 42 and all. i'm thinking perhaps i need to start taking a little blue pill.

your kiss is on my list

as i mentioned before, i saw a tv show the other day where a 20 year old couple were waiting until their wedding day to share their first kiss. like most of you i am all WTF? that's crazy. to each his own right? ok, but not kissing until you get married is just flat out stupid.

my question is, where are the bases nowadays? what's the time frame for different things? and i guess i mean for adults not kids because in my perfect little world my kids won't have physical contact with another person in a sexual way until they're at least 16-17 and THEN they can kiss. on the cheek. in the daylight. ok, yes, i know i'm totally naive to expect that, but i'm keeping my head in the sand on that one for a few more years.

anywhooo---i have a friend who is dating and yes, i am one of those friends who wants details. no, i don't want to know the positions and how kinky things get, unless she wants to tell, which she won't, but i do want to know when they have their first kiss and when she sleeps with him. and i honestly don't know why because it's none of my damn business, but i'm nosey like that.

so this friend has been dating this guy for about a month and they finally have hugged and kissed : )

what's the waiting time these days on the first official affection?

and, if you had an orgasm everytime you kissed your sig other would you hide them away from the rest of the world? (thank you cyndi lauper). my answer? i'd have chapped lips and yes, i'd probably chain him up in the house somewhere.

and, i have just discovered that i am a puppet. my friend sweet t, who's so soft-spoken and "innocent" and sweet throws topics of conversation out there TOTALLY knowing that i will bite and totally knowing that i will take the low road and the conversation will ultimately come down to something about having orgasms when you kiss. she's quite the manipulator that one. then screams tmi, tmi like barney fife screaming citizen's arrest, citizen's arrest.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

nicknames

ok, so the new first family got their secret service nicknames today. mr. o is renegade, mrs. o is renaissance and the little o's are radiance and rosebud. the veep is celtic and his wife is capri.

this reminded me of a west wing scene where cj discovered the secret service called her flamingo. west wing is still my all time favorite favorite tv series (though lost is a pretty good second). i am delighted when i see my west wing friends in other shows or movies.

how cool would it be to have code names? i mean srsly? hmmmm. the girl's code name could be diva. the hubs could be rebel. the boy would be van gogh.

and here i am, blogging despite the appalling lack of comments : )

Monday, November 10, 2008

pilfered meme

i totally pilfered this from sherendipity. sher stole it and added her own stuff so i'm doing the same.

Three Names...for a penis
1. cock
2. Pepe
3. wanker

Three Jobs I have had in my life
1. girl scout camp counselor (yeah i know, ME influencing little minds!)
2. salad bar attendant
3. assistant to a DIVARTY CSM and a colonel

Places I have lived...in my dreams
1. on a farm
2. in germany (even though i've lived there irl i'd like to do it again)
3. in a krispy kreme store

Three TV Shows that I watch...but not when it's in season
1. house
2. lost
3. food network challenge

Three places I have been
1. NY
2. London
3. Paris
...Munich..everybody talk about pop music (for reals, i have been to all of those places)

People that e-mail me regularly
1. Bath & Body Works--they lurve me so much they keep sending me tempting offers to come visit them
2. some dr. in dubai that wants to put money in an account that i set up in a swiss bank
3. classmates to tell me exactly 4 people have signed my guest book this year and if i become a gold member i can find out who they are

Three of my favorite foods...that i've eaten recently cos seriously, i have a lot of faves
1. homemade mac and cheese
2. lasagna, which i made last night and neither of my ungrateful kids would eat
3. pretty much anything i eat when i've spent some time with mary jane

Three people I think will respond....if i told them i just won the lottery
1. my sister
2. my mom
3. my kids

Things I am looking forward to...doing before i go to bed
1. watch 21 so i can return it to red box in the morning
2. smoke
3. the hubs

***********non sequitors
i am intimidated when i read blogs and then go to comment and there are like 30-40 commenters. wow. i think i'd probably freak if i had that many comments. how do people do that?

even though things are tough for a lot of people right now and the economy sucks, we're doing better than we ever have before and it makes me paranoid. we've been through years, a decade probably, of living by the skin of our teeth (wtf does that mean anyway?) and thanks to a lot of sacrifices and the hubs financial acumen we're no longer afraid to answer the phone for fear of bill collectors. however, the next looming worry is college in 6 years for the girl and 9 for the boy.

ok TOTALLY random but as i wait for the hubs to finish up paying the bills i'm watching this tlc show about this family with 17 kids (and one on the way). one of the kids just proposed to a girl and after she said yes they hugged. they are SAVING THEIR FIRST KISS FOR THEIR WEDDING DAY. wtf?? srsly? i mean, i'm really not trying to be all preachy and judgemental, but really? not even a fucking KISS before you get married? hells no.

and this is why halloween is my fave holiday

mostly because it's not thanksgiving or christmas. i don't actually have anything against turkey day or jesus' birthday (if it really IS his birthday--sorry, we recently watched the da vinci code and i'm totally influenceable) it's the family drama that accompanies these major celebrations.

a few weeks ago when we were celebrating the boy and gameboy's birthday my mom popped the question. so, how about having thanksgiving at my house this year? i could almost feel my sil tense up, hoping someone would come up with a better idea in the blink of an eye : ) i'm sure she was mentally trying to figure out if this was the year they were supposed to eat at my parent's house vs. her parent's house. the dilemma with my mom hosting turkey day is that she's not the best cook and there is little variety in what she serves. let's call it a white trash thanksgiving.

when mom popped the question no body answered immediately. i played it off saying i hadn't thought that far ahead yet, we were still in the middle of the boys' party, blah blah blah. after about a week of furtive emails from my mom i think we all capitulated to having it at her house. i guess the only other option was for me to host it and i just really didn't want to. the hubs keeps trying to get an invite to the sil's parent's house instead, and even told her it was OUR turn to go to her parent's house, but her folks are nice and don't want to rock the boat.

then we've already gotten into the christmas drama. christmas eve is usually at our house. my parents, my two siblings and their families and my grandma come to our house, we eat and open presents. the only other family we have in the vacinity is my aunt and uncle and their sons. though i've often invited them over for christmas eve they've never come, but we exchange gifts at some point. i don't blame them for not coming really. aside from the fact that it's usually quite chaotic, their youngest son (who's 30) has downs syndrome and still believes in santa. so they're still playing all of those santa rituals that night with him and his friend. their oldest, who's 35 may or may not be in town or out of jail on any given holiday.

this year, since the family is getting bigger and finances are tight, i made the suggestion that the kids (my kids and their cousins) exchange names and the adults (except my parents) forgo gifts and we just buy for my parents. then my aunt, who's never really been involved in our holiday planning, suggested all the adults draw names. this, after we'd already made our plans. honestly, i didn't think much about it at first and said thanks but no thanks. it was all very nice and cordial because i really do like this aunt and uncle. i don't expect them to buy for me and the hubs (which they do and we buy for them) but i wasn't really into exchanging names since we'd internally already opted not to.

so then my uncle called, and seriously this was not a contentious conversation at all, but he sort of strong armed me into agreeing to exchange names. and my aunt called last night to say to ignore him that they were just trying to save everyone money by drawing names. ???? uh, we'd already done that.

i don't know, it just sort of seemed weird, them coming in and saying, hey, we haven't really been part of your holiday but how about if we do xyz this year?

Saturday, November 8, 2008

sweet saturday

today's been a pretty good day around ck-ville.

we got up this morning to a nice, fall day. it's in the mid 60s, a bit windy, but totally beautiful. the back yard is (was) covered in multi-colored leaves and we opened the windows in the house.

the hubs took the boy to guitar lessons while the girl and i went to the grocery store.

then we cleaned up a little and my mom and grandma came over for a very brief visit.

after that we raked and burned some leaves and now the hubs is going to throw a pork loin on the grill and hopefully we'll just chill the rest of the day.

seriously though? these days of nothing really planned, no big project to accomplish (though lord knows there are lots of things needing done--like cleaning out the garage) but just these laid back, be together days are my absolute favorites.

even the drama from last night has ebbed away and the girl is back to her usual self. the kids have raked a huge pile of leaves in the back yard and jumped in them with the dogs.

i feel more connected or plugged in (or whatever i wasn't a few weeks ago) now. i think sometimes i lose sight of just how incredible the hubs really is or how good my kids are and how happy in my soul the three of them make me.

(oh, and plus i got laid today! he he)

Friday, November 7, 2008

ring ring?

ok, that's a totally lame title but omfg the girl has blown the evening to hell.

since she knows there isn't a santa claus she is wont to tell me (just about every other day lately) what it is she'd like for christmas. so far it's been polar bear anything, arts and crafts stuff, yarn and today? she wants some new fangled (yes, that sounds like a crotchety old man) phone. one with a slide out keyboard.

those of you who've read for a while may remember the hell we went through this spring when she (beat us down like whipped puppies)talked us in to getting her a cell phone. she was in 5th grade then and though i was opposed to it i caved because she was going on her first over night school field trip and i couldn't go. she needed it. it's a prepaid package deal and the agreement was she would pay half ($15) when it came time to add minutes. the first time it was time to pay up she decided she wasn't going to use it and so it was dormant for a few months (basically all summer). then, when school started this year we added minutes and she carries it w/ her. it's a camera phone. the exact same cell i have. the only time she even uses it is for about 20 mins on the bus when she's most likely texting the girl sitting beside her.

however. EVERYBODY (the same EVERYBODY that had an mp3 player and a Wii, which we now have and she never uses either of) now has these phones w/ slide out keyboards and she NEEDS one.

i told her, nicely at first, that no, she wasn't getting one for christmas. she pouted. she antagonized the boy all the way home. she fussed and asked about it 2-3 more times on the way home. she got home, threw herself on the couch and waited for the hubs to ask what's wrong. then she really fucked up. she said, 'ask your wife.' that did her in.

the hubs does not go for ANY disrespecting. she proceeded to tell him why she needed it and went on and on. then he launched into why she wasn't getting one, how we've been through this same thing a million times over different things, etc. etc. the dogs got scared. the hubs wasn't yelling but his voice was raised and he was being stern. the black lab ran into the living room and peeked around the corner then came and jumped up on the couch beside me in the den. the australian shepherd was panting and trying to jump up in my lap.

the girl just does not get it at all. it drives me absolutely crazy. she feels she's entitled to everything. she is satisfied for half a second when she does get something and she's never appreciative. i just don't get it.

now the hubs is in her room talking it out with her. i can hear here doing her poor me i'm so deprived crying. soon she will say i'm sory and i understand, etc.

i soooooooooooooo ROCK

i've been bitching a lot this week about the work drama going on, being thrown under the bus, etc. right? WELL, this morning i had my mtg w/ the big boss and got everything straightened out. i feel like singing that song vindicated by dashboard confessional, but after reading the lyrics the only thing really applicable is them scream I AM VINDICATED. ah, it's intoxicating.

the mtg went incredibly well. first the boss said he didn't understand why i felt thrown under the bus; i explained. he told me how it really happened--not the version i got from either my boss or ditto needless to say. and basically it was ditto complaining about how the agenda wasn't any where near complete. i explained to him that in fact the agenda is 99% complete and that ditto knew everything i had been working on.

i then told him about all of my topics and speakers etc. and he said---this is really great! you have great topics, these are good for your industry, these speakers are good, etc. blah blah blah you're wonderful, etc.

so---HOOOOOOOOORRRRRAAAAAYYYYYY.

i also could not resist throwing in there that i'd done all of this in 8 weeks.

******************
next, cos i know sometimes work crap bores people to death but i'm so high on this coup i couldn't not write about it.

i'm thinking of cheating.......
on my hair person (stylist? hair dresser?) i guess beautician and cosmotologist are too old school right? anyway---i thought i found one that i liked. and for the first time or two i did. i think perhaps i want too much from a stylist.
i would LOVE to be able to sit in a chair and say, please give me a hairstyle that brings out the best in me. like a makeover type thing ya know?
i like my hair, it's curly and low maintenance and soft and relatively healthy, but i want a STYLE. and if i let it go natural it would be light brown and i so do not like me as a brunette. however, i am also cheap and do not want to spend the money to get it highlighted every 6-8 weeks (plus it's a pain in the ass).

Thursday, November 6, 2008

and this picture? worth a LEAST a mini o



yes, yes, yes i would.

*******note to self---DO NOT DRINK TWO CUPS OF COFFEE IN THE AFTERNOON! especially when you know it's prolly been stewing in the pot since before lunch.

a picture's worth...well, at least two words

take that...beeotch!

i'm having a bit of a euphoric high right now because i have totally (in my crazy little brain) bitch slapped the powers that be today : )

although i have not yet spoken to the big boss about the fact that i was thrown under the bus yesterday (cos he's not in the office) i did email him and ask for some time to speak with him so i could remove the tire marks from my back from the bus that hit me. yes, that was, almost verbatim, my email. i'm tired of this shit.

then i slyly confronted ditto about it. i basically said i felt like i'd been thrown under the bus yesterday and just so you know (beeotch) my agenda is now about 95% completed, with confirmed speakers. so there! she of course tried to blame my boss for tossing me to the wolves, but i'm wise to her ways. i have no doubt that it basically boiled down to the fact that neither of them had the balls to tell the big boss what was really going on and just served me up on a silver platter instead.

whateve--she now knows that i know that she sacrificed me. i feel a tad bit vindicated, which is sad because it really doesn't make a hill of beans. if the conference is a success they will love me for 1/2 a day and move on. if it sucks it will be all my fault and they will not consider the fact that i put this together with no budget and in less than two months. fuckers.

**************
interestingly enough, the hubs said if he won the lottery today he'd quit his job and open a little antiques consignment shop or booth. he'd do something he loved. i thought about that, what would i do? i honestly don't know at this point. i used to think i had a novel in me, but i think that probably isn't my writing avenue. my job has sullied any idealistic views i held in college about publishing and writing for money. there are always strings attached. so, i'm not sure what i would do, if i were able to have a job that was something i truly loved.

what would YOU do?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

a tiny work rant and about face

first the rant---have you ever been toiling over a project at work and the person you are working with on the project throws you under the bus with the big boss? yes? well, that happened to me today and i'm so fucking pissed i could just scream.

the person happens to be ditto (you know, the one that copies everything lolli does?). well, ditto is my "partner" at work and she reports directly to our big boss but i have a manager between me and the big boss. the big boss literally does not have much to do w/ my particular part of the office except once a year when we put on a conference. remember the conference i've mentioned before? the one where i have to engage speakers who don't want to get paid? yeah. so, ditto knows that i have been working on this since september, have one confirmed speaker and am waiting on confirmation from several others. however, she told the big boss she didn't know what was going on with the conference and she couldn't do her part until she got a firm agenda from me. yeah. nice way to toss your partner to the wolves you psycho bitch. i learned of this from my boss when he called me into the office to find out what was going on. i told him what i had lined up, what i was waiting on confirmation from etc. and he said for me just to go in tomorrow and tell that to the big boss. oy vey. i am so hating my job right now i could really just scream.

now--on to the face stuff.
so, it seems that while i'm bouncing around happy as can be in the blogosphere, several of my friends have jumped on the facelibre (is that correct? libre=book?) bandwagon. and now they are trying to get me to do it. first, i'm quite happy being here at CK, pretty much anonymous except to a few, where i can spout off whatever the hell i want without anybody and their brother being able to look me up. there's a certain freedom that comes from being anonymous and to a degree i feel i've come to know several of my blog friends quite well because we don't have the labels of names or jobs or ethnicity, etc. second, i spend way too much time writing and reading blogs and i fear facelibre would be just one more thing i'd obsess over. and third, though day to day i don't think of age when i think of my friends, i am one of the oldest of all my friends (at the tender age of 40). i have a couple of good friends who are older than me, but otherwise they're (mostly) in their 30s. i'd feel like a dinosaur on facelibre.

am i truly the only person left on the planet that doesn't facelibre?

oh, and one more thing. the hubs is doing fine even though his person did not win the election. he knew yesterday that his guy was going to lose, but he did hold out a bit of hope. he is not spouting hate and ill will today. he is resigned to the situation and hoping that in four years there will be something better.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

side dishes and shopping

ok my lovies, i need help.

first--what side dishes do you typically serve? i am in a food rut. a rut i tell you. the girl and the hubs prefer carbs (mac & cheese, potatoes in any form, etc.) and the boy...he's an enigma. he eats meat and veggies (mostly cos i force the issue) but i'm stumped for interesting sides. for all you freaks uh, cooks out there, please share with me yummy sides that your family actually eats. i'll try just about anything.

second--i've been sitting here window-online-shopping tonight as the hubs is about to have a stroke over the election results so far. do you shop online? what are your favorite shopping sites? i do amazon and covet a lot of things at signals, wireless, uncommon goods and the usual suspects (wasn't that a kickass movie?) target, toysrus, etc.

so, that's what i need from you, recipes and online shopping sites. ok, go! : )

something wonky this way comes

ok, something wonky is going on w/ me and the interwebs. first, when i check my email, you know, the one all the comments get dumped into? it doesn't show any, but then when i come to look at my blog (cos i'm vain like that) i have comments. wtf?

then, when i go back to blogs i know i've commented on, my comment is not there. i think it's THE MAN trying to censor me. you know the man right? not the hubs, cos lord he's given up trying to censor me, but THE MAN.

anyway.

i'm feeling much better today. i really was at the point yesterday that i wanted to make myself hurl cos i'm sure i would have felt better, but i just didn't have the energy to do it.

yeah, that's about it for me. totally boring today.

Monday, November 3, 2008

sick day

i had a dream that i called in sick today. and i actually did it.

first, i was having this weird assed dream. a co-worker and i were roommates (weird, since in the dream neither of us were married though we're both married irl) and i am friends with this girl but it's not like we're bff's. anyway--all these people we work w/ were in our apartment, which actually was kick ass and apparently we lived in new orleans. everyone left for work except me and then i yelled out the window (we lived on the second floor) for these kids to stop bullying these other kids walking to school. then my daughter hopped in bed with me and asked why i was still in bed. then i woke up. weird huh? cos when i woke up i totally felt like crap, like fluey crap, achy and pukey, etc.

the kids are on fall break (yeah, i don't get it either, they were off thurs/friday of last week and mon/tues of this week). realizing that i actually don't feel good and we probably will not leave the house i think they would rather i took them to daycare today. um, yeah, sorry.

then i got a call from work. our office was robbed this weekend. wow. really? i mean we don't work in a big fancy office building, but there are six floors and it isn't in a bad part of town, etc. apparently some laptops and stuff are missing. freak---eee.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

you might be a geek if....

you are totally getting off on watching outrageous pumpkin carving on the food network challenge.

the incredible hulk as you've never seen him before

the incredible hulk is one of the many super heroes the boy likes. as a little side story, when my bro was little he was p-e-t-r-i-f-i-e-d of the tv show the incredible hulk. and, my dad, being the oh-so-wonderful father that he was, would wait until my brother (who was in kindergarten at the time) was all comfy in front of the tv and then turn the channel to the incredible hulk. my brother would run from the room. and, my dad wouldn't do this just once. he'd do it repeatedly. anyhooooo---here is the hulk for your viewing pleasure.



Saturday, November 1, 2008

i feel pretty and witty and wise

so....what do you think of the new look? in the back of my mind i'm still toying w/ the idea of moving to wordpress because you can be so much more creative w/ your blogs over there, but i'm absofreakinglootly scared shitless that in the process i will lose three years worth of posts (holy hell, i've been blogging for three years!).

if anyone knows a good (easy=not too tech) way to save/backup blog posts please email me. right now i'm thinking of either cutting and pasting every single entry or worse printing out every page.

the contest is still going on. the hubs hasn't yet said, wow, i want to blog about that, so keep the ideas coming.

the kitteh's out of the bag




trick or treat indeed.